Secrets
by Mizu Iruka
Summary: Rose keeps secrets, and so does the Doctor. Slight AU, closely following the episodes in Season 2. Don't worry, it's not just the transcript with a few words thrown in. Mostly Rose POV, some Doctor. Rose/Doctor.
1. Introduction

**A/N:** If anyone is looking at this and thinking "Hey! What about_ I am a Soldier_!" I do apologize. I am kind of stuck with the plot, so I've moved on to get my Doctor Who feels out through fanfiction.

To anyone about to run away because this sounds so boring, trust me, it's not just a re-write of the transcript. I don't go through the whole episodes line by line, just the important parts. I've gone through and added parts, and tried to get into Rose's head a bit with this. Anyway, gimme a chance here :)

I have yet to decide whether to take this beyond Season 2, so that's up in the air. Convince me through reviews! ;)

* * *

**Introduction & the Parting of Ways**

* * *

Rose Tyler had always been a terrible at telling lies. When she was little, it only took one look at her for her mother to immediately catch her and call her on it. Thus, Rose didn't lie. Until she knew the Doctor.

It hadn't been necessary when she first met him. He was a strange man-alien, and she had nothing to hide from him. But then things began changing.

Rose Tyler began keeping secrets.

By nature, the Doctor was secretive. Especially concerning his past. When it came to the present, however, he was notorious for speaking his mind at all times, no matter how rude he was. He didn't really lie. Until he knew Rose Tyler.

It had been necessary from the first time he met her. It would be dangerous to let her too close, not that keeping secrets helped that from developing. But he could try.

The Doctor began keeping secrets.

* * *

The throbbing song was pulling her through the vortex. She could feel it whirling about her, twisting her mind until all she had left was the single, focused thought.

_Save the Doctor._

After that it was a blur. She destroyed, she killed. She brought life, she saved. It wasn't her, but it was her. Bad Wolf.

"It's killing me," she whimpered.

The Doctor said something, and then he was in front of her. Blackness came, and the next thing Rose knew, she was on the floor of the TARDIS.

"What happened?" Rose asked immediately.

"Don't you remember?" The Doctor asked.

Rose paused. The memory was hidden, but still there. If she could just reach it . . . "It's like there was this singing."

"That's right. I sang a song and the Daleks ran away."

Rose didn't like being patronized. She ignored his comment, focusing on her clearing memories. "I was at home. No, I wasn't, I was in the Tardis, and there was this light." She paused, considering the Doctor. "I can't remember anything else," she lied.

He didn't notice the lie. Rose lost track of what he was saying, only noticing the past tense as he described he had planned on taking her.

"Then, why can't we go?" she asked, leaving her returning memories and focusing on the Doctor.

"Maybe you will, and maybe I will. But not like this."

"You're not making any sense."

He spouted more nonsense at her. Rose felt like screaming in frustration, but then he bent over in pain.

"Doctor!" she cried, reaching for him.

"Stay away!"

"Doctor, tell me what's going on."

"I absorbed all the energy of the Time Vortex, and no one's meant to do that. Every cell in my body's dying."

At his words, the memory became complete. The Bad Wolf, the singing. She could remember everything. The Time Vortex, the pain, the light. It was overwhelming. But it wasn't important, not if the Doctor was dying. Oh, he had kissed her. Rose stored that memory for later consideration.

He changed. Her Doctor had changed, and it didn't make sense. The headache made everything that much worse.

"What happened?" she managed to get out. The Doctor . . . or not the Doctor? seemed embarrassed.

"I'm sorry I never told you about this, Rose. It's only that in an emergency . . . well I've regenerated. Cheated death, you could say."

"Ah," Rose said inadequately.

The new Doctor stumbled and clutched his chest.

"Are you . . .?"

"Just fine. Now, where did you want to go? Barcelona?"

"Maybe, home," Rose whispered. She caught a look in his eyes that was a bit of pain, maybe fear that she was going to leave him before he nodded, grin flitting across his face.

"Maybe Jackie won't slap me, now that she won't recognize me!" he said cheerfully, messing with the controls.

The headache was pounding dully. Rose managed to grip the railing before they were spinning towards earth, twisting through the vortex. The Doctor was thrown off balance, and seemed to collapse against a column.

"Doctor!" Rose shouted.

The landing was terrible, the TARDIS spinning and landing so violently that Rose thought they had broken down.

It didn't stop the Doctor from getting up and throwing himself through the door.

Rose hesitated. Vaguely she could feel the singing. The TARDIS singing . . . or maybe the Time Vortex, she realized. Looking to the door, Rose bit her lip. Whatever was going on, she knew she'd have to figure it out without the Doctor. It would only make things more complicated if she told him. She walked out the door.

Rose Tyler's secret was the Bad Wolf.

* * *

The Doctor looked at himself in the mirror. New man. Not really, but in a lot of ways he was. Rose was waiting for him-Christmas dinner. So domestic of him, maybe something was changing. That wasn't a bad thing, no, in fact it felt like a really great thing, judging from the several small looks Rose had given him, and her smile.

Rose. A wave of fear washed over the Doctor, even as he grabbed a tie. After Bad Wolf had happened, he had wanted to run some tests on her, just as precaution, but now that it had been so long, it would only worry her. Or bring up memories, and he did _not_ want to do that. Even so, maybe he would try and do some scans while she was asleep. But then again, there had been no sign of Bad Wolf, and it wasn't something to hide.

He was worrying unnecessarily. He would make sure there was no mention of the Game Station. If something triggered memories, there was the slightest possibility that Bad Wolf would return and kill her. And he could not let anything happen to her. Ever.

He would distract her. Trip to New Earth should do it. The Doctor grabbed his coat, and headed out of the TARDIS.

The Doctor's secret was the Bad Wolf.


	2. New Earth

**New Earth**

* * *

The Game Station never came up in conversation, and Rose was fine with that. She didn't know whether it was from memory loss or him simply not wanting to talk about it, but in any case, the Doctor was concentrating on the present.

She could almost pretend the Bad Wolf never existed.

Except for the headaches.

And the singing.

And the nightmares. Rose figured the nightmares came now because she had to keep Bad Wolf locked up . . . so she couldn't lock up her fears anymore. It made sleeping problematic.

Thankfully, she was distracted by their first destination: New Earth. It was easy to be distracted. It was spectacular.

"It's beautiful. Oh, I love this. Can I just say, traveling with you, I love it," she smiled at the Doctor.

"Me too," he grinned, "Come on."

Rose was thoroughly enjoying herself by the time they reached the hospital. Everything was going perfectly, until the elevator. And Cassandra. All too soon, Rose found herself shoved into a corner of her own brain, wedged up against Bad Wolf, unable to stop Cassandra.

It was humiliating, to say the least. And constantly painful. Rose noticed that when she didn't try and see what was going on, the pain was at a minimum, but she couldn't afford not knowing.

Cassandra tried to sound like Rose, making a fool of herself, and Rose kept giggling.

Unfortunately, Cassandra's response was to send what felt like an oppressive blow at her. Rose fell silent, but she couldn't help gasping when Cassandra kissed the Doctor.

"Oi, what do you think you're doing!" she yelped.

Cassandra only ignored her.

To Rose's dismay, so did the Doctor. She had been sure Cassandra's act wasn't good enough to pass, but he seemed to accept it.

They had made it into Intensive Care, and the Doctor was arguing with Novice Hame.

"Just to confirm," Cassandra butt in on their conversation, "None of the humans in the city actually know about this?"

"We thought it best not," the nurse replied.

The Doctor looked at Novice Hame. "Hold on. I can understand the bodies. I can understand your vows. One thing I can't understand. What have you done to Rose?"

Rose shouted for the Doctor, which prompted Cassandra to send a spike of pain her way. She lost track and retreated, unable to even look at what was going on.

But then there was a feeling of release, and Rose felt herself become herself again.

"Blimey, my head. Where'd she go?" she breathed.

"Oh, my. This is different."

Rose stared in horror at the Doctor. "Cassandra?"

"Goodness me, I'm a man. Yum. So many parts. And hardly used. Oh, oh, two hearts! Oh, baby, I'm beating out a samba!"

Sickened, Rose snarled, "get out of him."

"Oo, he's slim," the Doctor, or Cassandra, smirked, "and a little bit foxy. You've thought so too. I've been inside your head. You've been looking. You like it."

Rose blushed, even as a thought flashed through her head. How had she noticed her thoughts about the Doctor before she had noticed Bad Wolf?

Her thoughts were interrupted as the infected got through. Cassandra panicked, and Rose almost laughed at how ridiculous he-or she looked. She would have liked to tease the Doctor about it, except then he might bring up her own behavior.

They climbed.

Rose began to panic herself as the diseased followed them. With Cassandra in the Doctor's head there was no chance at getting through the elevator doors.

"Cassandra, go back into me. The Doctor can open it. Do it!" she finally cried. The overwhelming feeling came again, and once more Rose was in the corner of her mind.

She refocused on the situation, ignoring the ache.

". . . get out of her," the Doctor growled. She would've thought it was sweet, except for he was really going to convince Cassandra to switch again. "I order you to leave her."

Nearly falling as Cassandra left her, Rose managed to stay on the ladder. "Cassandra, get out of him!"

"But I can't go into you, he simply refuses. He's so rude," she complained.

"I don't care, just do something," Rose said desperately.

Cassandra left the Doctor, passing into one of the infected. Relieved, Rose followed the Doctor through the elevator doors.

"Nice to have you back," he smiled at her.

Behind her, Rose heard, "no you don't."

It really hurt this time, and Rose retreated, overwhelmed.

The swooping feeling of falling brought her back to the present. Rose winced as Cassandra began talking, even shouting again. It hurt. She chose to hide again, only keeping a slight tab on the state of things.

She vaguely noticed the diseased were cured. The slight relief Cassandra felt from that gave a respite from the pain.

Somehow they were before the Face of Boe. Cassandra was not paying attention, and directed herself to Rose, talking inside her head.

"What is that in there, hmm?"

Rose hissed.

"Oh, I know better to mess with it. But you already have someone in your head, don't you?"

Rose ignored her, concentrating on the throbbing she felt.

The Doctor refocused on the two of them . . . or the one of them.

"You've lived long enough. Leave that body and end it, Cassandra."

Cassandra argued, but the arrival of Chip, her assistant, changed everything. Rose felt the pressure lifting, but it was too fast and she collapsed.

"Ohh, you all right?" the Doctor had his arms around her. Rose tried to form words, but slipped again. "Whoa! Okay?"

"Yeah, hello!" she managed.

"Hello. Welcome back." He smiled at her.

Cassandra drew away the Doctor's attention, and Rose took the time to focus on her own mind. She had a terrible headache, and felt like she was close to blacking out, judging by the bright spots floating in front of her eyes.

Going back into the TARDIS helped somewhat.

They dropped off Cassandra. They left, and Rose breathed in deeply as she slouched against one of the railings.

The Doctor cast her a worried glance. "Any side effects?"

"Headache," she muttered.

"Here," he approached her, holding up his hands. "I can help with that."

"How?" Rose asked warily.

"It's simple. I'll make a telepathic link and help you sort things out."

Rose yanked back. "Ah! Uh, you know, thanks for offering, but I've had enough things in my head for one day." She offered him a nervous smile.

He actually looked hurt. "I promise it won't be painful, Rose."

"No, really. I'll be fine. I'll just go, lie down, it'll go away." She cast him a sideways glance. "When Cassandra was in your head, were you watching?"

The Doctor looked surprised at her question. "Watching what?"

"What was happening."

"Oh, no. That would've hurt, and I was thinking up a solution to the disease problem." He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Were you?"

Rose shook her head and lied again. "Nah, I tried but it hurt. Don't know a thing about what was going on."

He grinned. "Go get some rest, Rose. We can swap stories later."

They never did get around to it. And Rose wasn't able to rest as her sleep was plagued with howling wolves and Cassandra's voice.

Rose Tyler's secret was her nightmares.

* * *

The Doctor watched Rose leave the console room. He heaved a big sigh, flopping down on the pilot's chair. He didn't know if Rose remembered the kiss or not, but he couldn't get it out of his head. Now that he knew it was Cassandra who kissed him, he couldn't mention it again. He could only hope that he hadn't done anything exceedingly embarrassing while Cassandra had been in his head.

It was weird, though. Why had she refused to let him go into her head? Of course, it's not like it was a normal occurrence for humans, having a telepathic link. But he was a little hurt that maybe she didn't trust him.

The Doctor shook his head. Something was wrong, and maybe it had to do with this little adventure. But she was getting so close to him. He couldn't let this get too far.

The Doctor's secret was his feelings.

* * *

These chapters are initially pretty short, but they'll get longer later. Hope you're enjoying reading it! :)


	3. Tooth and Claw

**Tooth and Claw**

* * *

It had grown easy to keep Bad Wolf out of her head. As long as she didn't think about it, it was weak, only a slight throbbing at the back of her mind.

But in Scotland, 1879, it rose again.

She was chained to a wall, along with what seemed to be the rest of the household. The Doctor didn't appear to be coming along any time soon, and she was consumed with curiosity at the sight of a caged man.

"Who are you?" she whispered.

"Don't enrage him," one of the servants pleaded.

"Where are you from? You're not from Earth. What planet are you from?" Rose asked.

"Oh, intelligence," the man hissed.

"Where were you born?" Rose insisted.

"This body? Ten miles away. A weakling, heartsick boy, stolen away at night by the brethren for my cultivation. I carved out his soul and sat in his heart."

Rose took a deep breath. Now would be a great time for the Doctor to show up, but he apparently had yet to notice her absence. She stared into the eyes of the creature.

"All right, so the body's human. But what about you, the thing inside?"

"So far from home."

"If you want to get back home, we can help," Rose offered.

"Why would I leave this place? A world of industry, of workforce and warfare. I could turn it to such purpose."

"How would you do that?"

"I would migrate to the Holy Monarch."

Rose gasped, "you mean Queen Victoria?"

"With one bite, I would pass into her blood, and then it begins. The Empire of the Wolf." He jumped at her. "Many questions. Look, inside your eyes. You've seen it too."

"Seen what?" Rose whispered, but she already knew the answer. The singing in her head grew louder.

"The Wolf. There is something of the Wolf about you."

There was a burning behind her eyes. Rose wondered if her eyes were glowing. "I don't know what you mean," she lied.

"You burnt like the sun, but all I require is the moon."

The power surged in her, and a swooping feeling hit Rose's stomach. Not now. Not with these people.

She managed to suppress it . . . for the time being.

They pulled on the chain.

The Doctor hadn't come.

They pulled on the chain.

The Doctor still hadn't come.

Finally, with an almighty heave, they managed to rip it free from the wall. Rose cast a terrified glance over to see the fully transformed werewolf lazily stretching.

The Doctor burst in. Rose shouted at him in anger, but he didn't notice, turning to the werewolf.

"Oh, that's beautiful."

The man with him, Robert, shouted, "Come on, go. Get out!"

The Doctor finally turned, and Rose met his eyes in desperation.

He began shouting, herding them through the door. Rose yanked him along with her.

And the chase began.

The howls of the wolf were affecting her. Rose could feel the power rushing through her blood. She could pretend it was adrenaline, but it wasn't.

They were running, running too fast. She turned to see one of the soldiers being ripped apart. The wolf looked up, staring into her eyes, reading her soul.

"Rose!" the Doctor shouted, pulling her into the library. Under normal circumstances, he would have yelled at her for hesitating, but as it was he focused on the task at hand.

They worked through the situation, working through the books in the library. Queen Victoria's diamond was revealed. On a whim, while the others were preoccupied, Rose took it into her hand. A surge of power ran through her, into the diamond, causing it to glow for a second. She glanced around, making sure no one noticed, and then handed it back to Queen Victoria guiltily, unsure whether to say something or not.

Before she could, the werewolf had figured out how to get in. The skylight.

They were running again, pushing their way through the dimly lit corridors. Rose had the passing thought that this was the stuff of new nightmares. There was a growl behind her, and she realized that she was at the back of the group. Half-turning, her eyes locked onto the creature's own. It lunged, catching her arm just barely with its teeth. She screamed. A second later, liquid came out of nowhere, splashing the werewolf and scaring him off.

"Good shot," the Doctor said. He hadn't noticed she was bitten. Rose looked down at her arm, the scratch oozing a single drop of blood.

They began running again, this time with a purpose. Upon reaching the observatory, the Doctor took the diamond from the queen.

"Rose," he called to her. She hurried over, helping him with the mechanism.

"You said this thing doesn't work," she said while cranking.

"It doesn't work as a telescope, because that's not what it is. It magnifies the light rays like a weapon. We've just got to power it up."

"It won't work. There's no electricity. Moonlight, but the wolf needs moonlight. It's made by moonlight," she protested.

"You're seventy percent water, but you can still drown. Come on! Come on!" The Doctor had a crazed expression on his face, and Rose continued to crank, biting back her own misgivings.

The moonlight shone through. The Doctor bounded over, placing the diamond where the light hit the floor, just as the wolf broke in.

Rose gasped as energy drained from her. She nearly collapsed, grabbing onto the crank for support. The Doctor didn't seem to notice the golden tint to the light, as he was concentrating on how it kept the creature trapped. A final surge rushed through Rose, and the werewolf disappeared.

He was oblivious. He never even noticed the bite on her arm. Rose kept it that way.

Rose Tyler's secret was the werewolf.

* * *

"Come on Rose, off we go again." He grinned at her and she smiled back. The Doctor felt an odd clenching in his midsection and was, yet again, distracted.

"Where to now?"

"Dunno yet. What I do know is that I am starving," he said promptly, dragging his gaze away from Rose. "Come on, let's go eat something."

Rose seemed distracted during the meal, holding onto her arm oddly. The Doctor gave her a look.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing she said, giving him a smile.

"But why are you holding your arm? Did you get hurt?"

"Oh, just scraped myself on that wagon thing." Rose shrugged.

"Let me look." The Doctor scooted around the counter and took her arm before she could say anything. His fingers skimmed the skin around the cut and he felt her shiver. The reaction was instantaneous as he shuddered, unable to control the whirl of feelings. He cleared his throat. "It looks fine. I just have to go work on the TARDIS, and . . . you know."

She almost looked disappointed, and the Doctor didn't know why.

"I'll go change."

The Doctor rubbed his forehead. This was wrong for so many reasons. He had let himself get too far, and it was only going to hurt her. There was no way around it. He would have to try and push her away.

The Doctor's secret was his lovesick heart.

* * *

Decided to spice up the secrets by adding another one. Cuz why not :D

Anyway, right about now I'm deciding what to do when I get to the end of season 2. If anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them!


	4. School Reunion & Girl in the Fireplace

**School Reunion & The Girl in the Fireplace**

* * *

She had always hoped that he loved her. But as time went on, she realized she was deluding herself. How could she amount to anything, compared to the others?

Meeting Sarah Jane was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown onto her. She wasn't stupid, but she had never given a second thought to the fact that he was, give or take, 900 years old. She couldn't have been the only girl. And she wasn't.

After that adventure Mickey had thought about coming with them, but Rose asked him to stay. She needed someone to come back to, in case he did tire of her. It was selfish, but she couldn't help herself.

Then he met Reinette. From the looks of it, Reinette had swept him off of his feet.

And it hurt.

When he left Rose.

Abandoned her.

She was alone in the space station, surrounded by masked clockwork robots. Tied down. A blade approaching. Rose choked back tears, and then reached inside her own mind.

The Bad Wolf responded eagerly, rushing out and blasting the droid that was over her. Rose felt the fringes of unconsciousness approaching, but then there was a loud singing. Not the TARDIS. Singing. The Doctor was singing.

Maybe she was going insane.

Rose stared in disbelief as the Doctor sashayed into the room, spouting nonsense and grinning at her.

"What've you been doing? Where have you been?" she gasped.

He laughed, going on about a party and then beginning to talk to the droids.

The Doctor didn't notice the pile of dust at his feet when he untied her.

To make things worse, he made her go and talk to Reinette. Not him, her. She nearly hated him for that.

The catty part of her almost smacked Madame de Pompadour when she said, "Supposed to happen? What does that mean? It happened, child, and I would not have it any other way. One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel."

She was a child? How dare she. Her statement was true enough; Rose would tolerate, no, enjoy a _universe_ of demons for the Doctor. But it killed her when someone else said it.

And then he abandoned her again, this time without hope of return. He returned, after five and a half hours. Only a hug, and no real apology.

The nightmares grew worse after that. Because now, she was alone in them.

Rose Tyler's secret was her broken heart.

* * *

Did she know how much she affected him? The Doctor glanced at Rose out of the corner of his eye. She was curled up on the pilot's chair, staring dazedly into the console. Was he right, in pushing her away? He sighed, walking over to her. He was about to speak when she did.

"I'm sorry."

It threw him. He stammered for a moment. "What?" he asked bemusedly.

"I'm sorry you lost her."

"Oh." The Doctor reached up to pull on his ear. He hadn't really wanted to bring up Reinette. "Thanks, I guess."

"You probably want to be alone right now." She said it as a statement. She still wasn't looking at him.

"Weellll," the Doctor drew the word out as long as he could. "I dunno. Maybe we should go traveling somewhere, eh?"

"So you can forget her?"

The Doctor wondered if there was actually a pattern behind Rose's questions. It made him nervous. "I've got you. I'm okay," he finally said.

He had hoped that would get a positive response, but she only nodded. "I'm tired. Sorry Doctor, I don't think I can handle . . . I mean, I just need some rest," Rose muttered.

The Doctor reached out, touching her chin and gently drawing her around to look at him. "Rose, are you all right?"

He got a vague, pained smile in response, and she turned his previous words back on him. "I'm always all right."

She pulled herself away before he could manage to say anything else. He could only watch her leave. After a couple minutes he casually walked past her room. She was crying. And he couldn't do anything to fix this.

The Doctor's secret was his helplessness.

* * *

Can you tell I really didn't want to write my versions for these episodes? If I had my way, they would never have existed. Well, School Reunion is okay, I guess. But still, not one of my favorites. I'm sorry this is so short, but I debated whether or not to add the next segment at the same time or not-I figured it'd be best to keep them separate by chapters. To make up for it, I'll upload it later tonight :)


	5. INTERLUDE: Nightmares

**INTERLUDE: Nightmares**

* * *

"I figured give us a break, you know, just to get the TARDIS fixed up." The Doctor was looking expectantly at her, and Rose managed a small smile.

"Sure thing. I haven't half explored this place anyway." She couldn't help a yawn.

"You're still tired?" the Doctor asked incredulously. "You were sleeping for at least six hours. How much time do you need?"

Rose scowled at him. "Just didn't sleep well. Don't worry, I won't cramp your style." Before she got over her anger, she whirled out of the room. She knew it was unjust of her to snap at him like she had, but the lack of sleep was putting her on edge. Rose slumped against one of the walls and rested her forehead against the cool metal. The nightmares were taking it out of her. She could start taking sleeping pills, but that was a last resort.

Despite her misgivings, she had a nice day in the TARDIS. The Doctor was great, tinkering on the TARDIS only when she was busy doing something else. Rose did some reading, went swimming, and tried to cook dinner.

It was night. Or at least, the TARDIS was telling them it was night by dimming the lights.

"You off to bed?" the Doctor asked.

"Mmm." Rose stayed noncommittal.

"What is it?"

Rose had a passing thought. "I dunno, it's just sleep means I'm kind of wasting time. Any special alien tech that can make me stay up all the time?"

The Doctor laughed. "Oh Rose. Go on, get some sleep."

Rose bit her lip. She didn't want the nightmares to come back, but she couldn't tell him. It was her secret.

* * *

The Doctor watched Rose carefully as she left the room. Something was very wrong, and it didn't just have to do with Reinette and that fiasco. Sleep. He didn't sleep much himself, and he didn't know why she would be so reluctant to go to bed. He shrugged it off, going out to the console room to do a little more tinkering.

It was at least three hours later when he was finished. The Doctor got up, stretching. He was just walking through the corridors when the TARDIS alerted him.

"What is that?" he muttered, running to the nearest screen. The Doctor nearly fell when he saw the distress the TARDIS was picking up was from Rose's room. He bounded off, down the corridors until he reached her room.

He listened, but couldn't hear anything.

"Rose?" he said softly. There was no reply. He twisted the door knob, but it was locked. The Doctor considered, and then used his sonic screwdriver. If she was awake, he would just apologize and say he thought something was wrong.

He slowly opened the door. The room was pitch dark, and the Doctor pointed his screwdriver to the lights, bringing them up to a soft glow. Rose was in her bed, the sheets twisted around her. And she was whimpering.

The Doctor was next to her in a second.

"Rose, Rose wake up."

Her eyes shot open.

"No!" she shrieked. She flailed, one of her fists catching the side of the Doctor's face.

"Ouch!"

"Doctor?"

"Well now you're awake," he grumbled.

"Sorry, sorry. I just . . . just . . ."

He looked at her to see her in tears.

"Hey, hey, c'mere." He wrapped his arms around her, scooting until he was completely sitting on the bed. She was shivering. "Tell me Rose. What's wrong?"

"The nightmares won't go away," she whispered.

The Doctor rubbed her back. "Just try and relax. I'm right here."

He didn't leave her bedside until she was asleep. Even then, he lingered, tempted. He could find out what her nightmares were about. All he had to do was touch her forehead, and see everything. But he wouldn't.

It was her secret, and she would tell him when she was ready.

* * *

I kept my promise! Now to go study for that chinese test D:


	6. Rise of the Cybermen & The Age of Steel

**Rise of the Cybermen & The Age of Steel**

* * *

The Doctor seemed somewhat apologetic after his affair with Reinette, and eager to make her feel better. He offered to pick up Mickey, and Rose agreed, though somewhat unenthusiastically.

He was being nice, reminiscing with her, and Rose couldn't help having a good time. They were giggling together when the TARDIS crashed. Died, apparently. Just one crazy adventure on a parallel world, but Rose was willing to have a good time with the Doctor. And Mickey. So long as it wasn't a full moon

But then she had seen her father on a poster. It was a slap in the face. The Doctor was in front of her, trying to block her view.

"Don't look at it, Rose. Don't even think about it. This is not your world."

"But he's my dad, and . . ." Rose protested, reaching out to the poster.

It talked at her, and she took her hand away.

"Well that's weird. But he's real. He's a success. He was always planning these daft little schemes. Health food, drinks and stuff. Everyone said they were useless. But he did it."

The Doctor was looking at her desperately. "Rose, if you've ever trusted me, then listen to me now. Stop looking at it." Rose felt like asking him about after their last adventure with Reinette, how she was supposed to trust him after that, but bit it back. "Your father's dead. He died when you were six months old. That is not your Pete. That is a Pete. For all we know, he's got his own Jackie, his own Rose. His own daughter who is someone else, but not you. You can't see him. Not ever."

A quick sense of deja vu swept over her, and Rose remembered the fiasco with her dad before. Even so, she couldn't help staring at the poster.

"Trust me on this," it repeated.

Rose tried . . . she really did. She tried to ignore the fact that her dad . . . well, not her dad . . . was alive. But she couldn't. It would have been easy, if the Doctor hadn't been so distant. He just let her wander off, and she found out even more information about her family.

She wasn't there. There wasn't a parallel Rose. It hurt, even though it felt selfish for her to do so. But she felt more alone than ever.

She tried explaining it to the Doctor. "They're rich. They've got a house and cars, and everything they want. But they haven't got me. I've got to see him."

"You can't," he insisted.

"I just want to see him," Rose pleaded.

"I can't let you," he said.

"You just said twenty four hours!" she exclaimed.

"You can't become their daughter, that's not the way it works. Mickey, tell her," the Doctor insisted.

"Twenty four hours, yeah?" Mickey began backing up. Rose suddenly remembered his grandmother, and how she had died. He was thinking that maybe she was still alive.

"Where are you going?"

"Well, I can do what I want," Mickey said, still walking away.

Rose saw her opening. "I've got the address and everything."

"Stay where you are, both of you. Rose, come back here! Mickey, come back here right now!" The Doctor was desperate, but Rose couldn't help it. She retreated, walking off.

She didn't know what the Doctor would do. Part of her hoped he'd follow, and she was terrified he wouldn't. But then he did, and a little piece of her life fell back in place.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," she said as he caught up. "But imagine if you knew someone from Gallifrey was alive."

He slowly nodded, taking her hand in silence, until he started asking questions about Mickey.

Once things started getting weird, with people hypnotized by their ear pod things, the Doctor finally agreed to go see her dad. The nervous flutter in her stomach reached a new high.

Of course, the darkness brought another fear. "Doctor, is it full moon?"

He gave her an odd look and a grin. "Why would you care about that?"

She shrugged, biting her lip to keep the truth from spilling out. She could be a werewolf, and she had yet to tell him.

"No, I don't think it is. Bad Wolf playing tricks on you, eh?"

Rose started, looking up at him. "Bad Wolf?"

He winced. "Sorry, know you don't remember it. Game Station, and all. Don't worry about it."

"Mmm." She desperately wanted to tell him. After a slight pause, she murmured, "well, I do remember a little."

He whirled on her. "How much?"

The violent action startled her, and Rose blurted out before she could think, "singing. I remember singing."

The Doctor's face relaxed. "Right. Well, let's go take a peek at that parallel dad of yours, now."

Rose stared at her mother and father. But they weren't, and it was pulling something inside of her to pieces. She even talked to her father. And it felt even worse. The Doctor was watching her; she noticed him discreetly following her at one point, but then she was outside with her not-mother, and he was nowhere to be seen.

And it was not her mother. Some of the pain went away, because whoever this woman she was talking to was, it was not her mother. Was not her Jackie Tyler. It still hurt, thinking about her dad, but at least she could try and ignore this version of her mother.

Then the monsters appeared. Rose realized she had a whole lot of new material for nightmares all over again, as metal soldiers were marching towards the house.

She raced back inside, searching for the Doctor.

"It's happening again," he told her.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked.

"Cybermen," he said darkly.

Everything was falling to pieces. People were dying, and Rose could only run. Run away, like a child. Bad Wolf stirred in her mind, eager to be let free and destroy the cybermen, but Rose forbade it.

They had somewhat escaped from the cybermen, and were coming up with a plan to take them down. There were fake earpods, and Rose knew what she had to do.

"We haven't got time," she said at her not-father's protests. She looked defiantly at the Doctor. "Doctor, I'm going with him, and that's that." Some of the pain bled through.

"No stopping you, is there?" the Doctor's eyes were drilling into hers, as if he was reading her.

"No," Rose said firmly before he could change her mind.

The decisions were made. The Doctor hugged her before they split up, and for that one second, it felt like things were back to normal between them. She almost changed her mind and went with him, but she swallowed the feeling.

Rose Tyler's secret was her longing.

* * *

The Doctor could only watch as Pete left Rose alone. They had saved the world, but not everything was fixable. In his own opinion, Rose wasn't losing much by him leaving her, but he caught a glimpse of her face, and she looked defeated, tired, and broken. It nearly broke his hearts.

And then Mickey left. He had expected it, but Rose hadn't. She barely made it back into the TARDIS on time.

The Doctor was busy working at the console, trying to get them back into their universe, but he could still see out of the corner of her eye how she sank down on the grating. She was crying. He plugged in coordinates for earth and then knelt beside her.

"Rose."

She only sobbed harder. Gently, the Doctor maneuvered his right arm around her shoulders, placing his left on her cheek.

"It's going to be all right," he lied.

"No," she said bluntly through her tears, "it's not. I'm . . . alone."

"Hey," the Doctor choked back a sob himself and gave her his best smile. "You've got me, remember?"

Rose's face crumpled.

Something broke inside the Doctor. "You loved him?"

Rose shook her head.

"Then what is it?" he whispered.

"When . . ." She stopped.

"When what?" he prompted.

Rose seemed to gather her strength. "When you leave me, I won't have anyone there for me."

It was as if she had punched him in the gut. He couldn't even speak. She seemed to take his silence as an affirmation, and curled up, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her head in her arms.

"Rose, how can you say that?" His voice was laced with pain. She wouldn't answer him. "Rose. I won't leave you. Just don't . . . you don't leave me."

That got her attention, and her red-rimmed eyes were raised to his. Before he lost his courage, he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead.

"Would you like to see your mom?" he asked.

"Yes, please," she murmured. The Doctor restrained himself from bounding up, choosing a slow movement instead, sliding up from the floor and reworking the coordinates to the Tyler's living room.

Rose rushed out of the TARDIS. "You're alive. Oh Mum, you're alive."

The Doctor heard her reply. "Well, I was the last time I looked. What is it? What's happened, sweetheart? What's wrong? Where did you go?"

The Doctor answered for her. "Far away. That was . . . far away." It was too far away. And he had almost lost Rose, because she thought he would leave her. But he would never leave her. Never. He spent the whole of that night watching over her and holding her hand through the nightmares.

The Doctor's secret was his responsibility.

* * *

**A/N:** You guys write the sweetest reviews. They definitely encourage me to continue! Thank you! :)


	7. The Idiot's Lantern

**The Idiot's Lantern**

* * *

"Come on then, let's have some fun!"

Rose smirked at the Doctor. "When you say fun, do you mean run-for-your-life fun or actual fun?"

He gave her one of his indignant looks. "You don't have fun when you're running for your life?"

She laughed at that. "Okay then, what's your plan this time?"

The Doctor grinned. "Oh, let's say, maybe, Elvis?"

Rose finished arranging her hair, unable to stop the occasional giggle from slipping out of her mouth. She could hear the Doctor running around, making some loud banging noises. She was just reaching up to use some more hairspray when a sharp pain exploded in her arm. Rose dropped the hairspray bottle and it hit the floor with a clatter.

"Rose, everything all right?"

Gasping, she managed to respond. "Yeah, yeah." She looked down at her arm. Nothing was there, but Rose could feel it. The werewolf. Howling in her veins. Biting her lip, Rose looked at the door. "Doctor, have we arrived?"

"No, not yet, why?"

"Where are we?"

His voice came from farther away. "I just set us down on the moon before we went to earth while we were spending time getting ready. Give the TARDIS a rest from spinning around the vortex the whole time. Wanna take a look outside?"

"Maybe some other day." It was getting harder to breath. "I'm ready, let's go," she said loudly, slipping on her hairband and putting in her earrings with trembling fingers.

The pain went away as soon as she heard the engines begin their signature sound. Rose sighed, leaning against the sink. She was going to have to tell the Doctor soon, before this secret killed them both.

All thoughts of the werewolf were chased away by the grin of the Doctor. Then he had the scooter, and everything was just _fantastic_. Rose held onto the Doctor tightly, reveling in the closeness and the joy. And, of course, there was another mystery to solve. All too soon they were chasing the police.

They rounded the corner. No one.

"Lost them. How'd they get away from us?" The Doctor wondered.

"Surprised they didn't turn back and arrest you for reckless driving. Have you actually passed your test?" Rose teased.

"Men in black? Vanishing police cars? This is Churchill's England, not Stalin's Russia," the Doctor said, almost indignantly.

"Monsters, that boy said," Rose murmured thoughtfully. "Maybe we should go ask the neighbors."

"That's what I like about you. The domestic approach."

"Thank you," Rose smirked. Then she paused, giving him a sidelong glance. "Hold on, was that an insult?"

She could see the Doctor grin, and they were off again.

Rose had forgotten how much fun it was to boss around an older man. She'd done it once before, to one of her mum's bad boyfriends, but this time, with the Doctor watching, she couldn't help but bite her lip and grin at him. Hopefully she wasn't scaring him away. He gave her an odd look and then turned back to the family they were interrogating.

The Doctor did get a little scary when he was mad. But that didn't frighten her half as much as him unconscious, knocked out by the police, did.

"Doctor!"

It took her slapping him to get him up. When she did, he took off. She was following, somewhat slower because of her high heels, but then she saw a weird glowing red light on the TV. Things were starting to click into place. The TV antennas. There were so many. Vaguely, Rose heard the sound of the moped taking off. She crept closer to the TV, following the red light to the back. Magpie's Electricals.

Rose stood. The man was demanding she leave, and she smirked at him.

"I'm going. I'm done. Nice to meet you, Tommy, Mrs. Connolly. And as for you, Mr. Connolly, only an idiot hangs a Union Flag upside down. Shame on you!" She used her best commanding voice, and then gave him a manic grin, running out the door.

The Doctor was gone investigating. Rose shook out her skirts. It was time she did a little herself.

Rose walked confidently, heading for the lighted gas station. She cast a nervous look up at the moon as she went. Not quite full moon, but it was close. She had the strangest urge to howl, and quickly squashed it. Now would be a really bad time for that.

"Hello!" she said cheerfully to a man getting in his car. "Could you tell me where Magpie's Electricals is?"

The man grunted, "just down the street that way."

Rose gave him a nod of thanks, and continued on.

She opened the door without hesitation.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss. I'm afraid you're too late. I was just about to lock the door," Magpie said.

A lame excuse if she had ever heard one. "Yeah? Well, I want to buy a telly."

"Come back tomorrow, please."

Now she knew he was hiding something. "You'll be closed, won't you?"

"What?"

"For the big day? The coronation," she reminded him, all the while sweeping her eyes across the room. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary.

She continued on. "Seems to me half of London's got a television, since you're practically giving them away." Rose gave Magpie a quick once-over. Definitely not a rich man.

"I have my reasons."

"And what are they?" Rose said curiously.

"Hungry! Hungry!"

The voice made Rose snap her head around. She asked Magpie what it was and he avoided her question as he had been.

She interrogated him, but he wouldn't break.

Then he locked the door.

"All right, then. It's just you and me. You going to come clean, then? What's really in it for you?" she asked, somewhat anxiously. She had never really fought a man before.

"For me? Perhaps some peace."

"From what?"

"From her."

The television talked to her. Rose had seen plenty of strange things, so she shouldn't have been so surprised, but then it began taking her. The pain in her head was unbearable, and even as she cried out for help, she knew it was hopeless. Bad Wolf went with her, and she was lost in the darkness.

And Rose was afraid. She was supposed to be brave. Brave for the Doctor. But she wasn't.

Rose Tyler's secret was her fear.

* * *

The Doctor was having a rather fun day. Mystery, people with no faces, the whole lot. But that was before things got personal.

He stared at Rose Tyler. But she wasn't Rose Tyler anymore. This dead, faceless shadow of Rose. He had left her behind, and look what had happened.

"Rose," he whispered aloud.

The police asked, "You know her?"

"Know her? She . . ." how could he put into words what Rose Tyler was to him? The voices of the police faded into the background as all the rage, guilt, and pain washed over him. He managed to catch a few words.

"They did what?" he ground out.

"I'm sorry?"

"They left her where?"

"Just in the street."

The Oncoming Storm roared inside of him. "In the street. They left her in the street. They took her face and just chucked her out and left her in the street. And as a result, that makes things very simple. Very, very simple. Do you know why?" he growled.

"No."

"Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop, there is no power on this Earth that can stop me! Come on!"

He picked up Tommy, figured it out. Rose had figured it out way before him, and if he had only stopped to listen . . . the Doctor went on. Magpie's Electricals.

And he saw her. She couldn't see him, but she was crying out for him.

When the Wire tried to take him, all he could think about was that Rose had gone through the same pain he was. So he fought. He fought, and he got her back.

The Doctor and Rose together. The way it should be, as he hugged her. They went to the party together, and he even made up for his slight aspersion to her earlier.

"This is history right here," he said.

"The domestic approach," Rose teased.

"Exactly," he grinned at her.

"Will it, that thing . . . is it trapped for good on the video?"

He heard the fear in her voice, and another wave of guilt washed over him. "Hope so," he said honestly, and went on to explain it in detail. Technobabble got him out of delving deeper into her fears, as well as his own.

They came up to Tommy. The Doctor was being happy, and nice, giving him his very favorite scooter, but then Tommy was distracted.

"Good riddance."

His father. The Doctor almost sneered, but of course, he didn't. It wasn't befitting a Time Lord to sneer. "Is that it, then, Tommy? New monarch, new age, new world. No room for a man like Eddie Connolly."

"That's right. He deserves it."

The Doctor was about to nod in agreement, but then Rose butt in. "Tommy, go after him."

"What for?"

The Doctor watched the exchange with interest.

"He's your dad," she said simply.

"He's an idiot."

She grinned. "Of course he is. Like I said, he's your dad. But you're clever. Clever enough to save the world, so don't stop there. Go on."

The Doctor thought he caught a glimpse of her own pain there, but it was gone before he could say anything about it. He would later though. Because he didn't understand.

The Doctor's secret was his ignorance.

* * *

**A/N:** Happy Thanksgiving!


	8. INTERLUDE: Werewolf

**INTERLUDE: WEREWOLF**

* * *

"Rose?"

"Mmm?" She was lying down on the pilot's chair, with her head dangling over the edge, so she had to lift it to see the Doctor.

"I've been wondering . . . you remember the Wire?"

She shivered involuntarily. "How could I forget?"

"You okay?"

She sat up all the way, a bemused expression on her face. "That's it? You just want to know if I'm okay?"

He looked rather nervous. "Sorry, I mean, if I'm bugging you."

Rose laughed. "You are so ridiculous. Yeah, I'm okay. 'Course, it isn't exactly something I'd like to repeat."

"Have you been having . . . nightmares?"

She tensed. "Maybe a little."

The Doctor didn't say anything, and Rose watched as he fiddled with the console.

"Why did you have Tommy go to his dad?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Cuz a kid should have a dad," she said firmly.

"That's it?"

She stood, walking over to him. "Why do you think I asked to see my dad, both times? Mind you, that was a stupid idea. But either way."

He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. Approaching her, the Doctor looked intently at her, as if inspecting every feature. His hand went up to her jaw.

"Doctor . . ." she whispered.

Then he was off, dashing around the console.

"So, let's go!"

"Where to?" Rose grinned.

"I figure, you need to add one thing to your list of places you've been with me."

"Only one?" Rose paused. "Wait, how do you know I have a list?"

He smirked at her. The TARDIS wheezed as they landed, and immediately pain shot up from her arm through her body in powerful waves. Rose slid to the floor with a gasp, and the Doctor sprinted over to her.

"Rose, what is it? What's wrong!"

The pain forced her body to arch. "Doctor, get us out of here," she moaned.

He obviously didn't want to leave her side, but did as she asked, going off into a whirl of motion. As soon as they dematerialized, Rose felt the pain fade away.

"Rose." He was in front of her, hands on her shoulders, holding her up. "Tell me. Now."

She sighed. "We landed on the moon, didn't we?" He nodded, and she paused. Could she do this? Tell him, now, after all this time? "Do you remember Queen Victoria?"

The Doctor hadn't expected that, and let go of her. Rose immediately fell slightly back, as she had been unconsciously leaning into his grasp.

"Sorry."

"S'fine," she murmured. He helped her to her feet, and they both sat in the pilot's chair.

"What about Queen Victoria?"

"I was bitten." Rose said it bluntly. She had been hiding it for far too long, and getting it out was somewhat of a relief. His face was so horrified. Rose ducked her head, looking away and trying to stop the tears.

"You . . . why didn't you tell me?"

She only cried harder.

"Hey. Rose, look at me." His fingers found her chin and lifted her face to his. "We're going to fix this."

"How? The last time, the werewolf . . . died."

"Just . . . give me a second." He paced around, hands in his hair, looking practically wild. Rose couldn't stop shaking.

"Doctor, you're scaring me."

He laughed at that, a terrible, pained laugh that didn't even come close to reaching his eyes. "Oh, Rose. You're scaring me."

"Guess I'm good at that, huh? Did I scare you when the Wire took my face?" she tried to joke.

Instead of smiling, he stared at her intently. "Yes."

Rose couldn't hold his gaze. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not telling you."

"We'll be okay. Why don't you go lie down. I'll figure it out while you're asleep."

She gave him a hesitant smile and hopped off the chair.

* * *

It didn't take him long to figure it out. After the fiasco with Queen Victoria, the Doctor had looked up the species, just in case it popped up again.

But he didn't like the options.

"Rose?" The Doctor gently knocked on her door before opening it. She was in the bed, in the throes of another nightmare, from the looks of it.

"Hey, c'mon now, wake up." He gently shook her out of it, and she stared up at him, wild-eyed.

"Doctor."

He sat on the bed, twisting his hands, running them through his hair . . . anything to keep from telling her what had to be done.

"Just tell me."

The Doctor swallowed. "Two options. One is that we just avoid full moons, and well, moons in general. Wouldn't be that hard, really. Only risk would be if we were stuck somewhere for a while, and we couldn't leave."

"So there's no cure?" Rose whispered.

The Doctor shook his head. "Second option is we get rid of it."

"Not much of a choice, that. What are we waiting for?"

Rose sat up, but the Doctor grabbed her hand. "It's not that simple. There's no guarantee it would work, and it might . . . hurt."

"That doesn't matter. Let's do it."

With no small amount of trepidation, the Doctor led her to one of the many rooms of the TARDIS.

"Hold still." He quickly injected her with the necessary chemicals. She only flinched a little. "Are you sure about this?" he murmured.

She nodded stoically, but he could see her teeth worrying at her bottom lip.

"You have to be in here. I'll be just outside, working the controls. I'll shine the moonlight in, you will have a small . . . reaction, and then everything will be fine."

"What if it goes wrong?" she asked.

He swallowed. "Weellll, the chances of that are so small that . . ."

"Doctor."

"You'll turn into it."

"Don't let me hurt you if I do." She threw herself onto him, hugging him tightly, before going into the room. The door clicked shut, and the nightmare began.

He could hear her screams, and it was ripping him apart. A high, keening scream turned into a howl, and the Doctor shuddered.

"Please, this can't be it," he whispered.

He could hear the growls. A terrifying howl once more echoed through the TARDIS, and then everything fell silent.

"Rose," he pressed himself against the door, mentally screaming for her to answer. She didn't, and he burst in, nearly sobbing in relief as he saw her lying, prone, in the middle of the floor, her movement telling him she was still alive. She wasn't a werewolf.

"Rose, Rose, wake up . . ."

"Doctor?" She blearily stared up at him. "I think I'm naked."

"Wha-oh" The Doctor blushed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Go get me some clothes, will ya?"

He left her reluctantly. Just outside the door he stopped, and glanced back. "You're okay now?"

She smiled at him. "Course I am."

* * *

Rose watched the Doctor set their next coordinates. Inwardly, she shoved back Bad Wolf once more. It had taken over, during her episode with the werewolf, and it wasn't going back into dormancy without a fight.

"Hmm, the TARDIS is acting up a little bit. Gimme a sec to mess with this." The Doctor picked up his mallet with a grin, and Rose weakly smiled at him.

A howl ripped through the air, and Rose snapped her head up so fast she almost got whiplash. The Doctor hadn't reacted. It was all in her head.

Rose closed her eyes, and she was back in that small, oh so small room with only the pain and the howling, until Bad Wolf recognized the foreign body and quelled it It was there, just dormant. She let the Doctor think that his chemicals did the job . . . hopefully there wouldn't be another run-in with a werewolf any time soon.

Just as the Doctor set them on course, Bad Wolf retreated with a slight growl. Rose grinned. Off on another adventure.

* * *

**A/N:** GUYS. I MESSED UP AND DIDN'T POST THIS IN ORDER. AHH. I'M SORRY. D:


	9. The Impossible Planet & The Satan Pit

**The Impossible Planet & The Satan Pit**

* * *

She should have figured that when the wall had a spray painted, "Welcome to Hell," that this trip would be a little less than fun.

Aliens were swarming them. "We must feed," their chant.

Rose grabbed a stool to fend them off, glancing at the Doctor. He had his fierce, we're-going-down-fighting face, and Rose couldn't help feeling somehow happy. Even if she was going to be eaten by aliens with tentacle faces, at least she would be with him.

The aliens paused in front of them. "We must feed . . . you, if you are hungry."

"Sorry?" the Doctor said. Rose just stared at them, confused.

And then, thank goodness, there were humans. But the humans were completely disbelieving as to how they got on the ship.

"But you're a sort of space base. You must have visitors now and then. It can't be that impossible," Rose reasoned with them.

"You're telling me you don't know where you are?" the man with the gun asked.

"No idea. More fun that way," the Doctor grinned, and Rose almost smirked. More fun, or it almost killed them.

It was pretty hilarious seeing how shocked everyone was that actual people were on their little space station thing. The earthquake interrupted any further conversation, though. After the earthquake-storm . . . thing, introductions were made. But then they opened the roof.

A black hole. Rose had read stories about them, but seeing one for real . . . for once, the Doctor seemed as surprised as she was. She was actually having fun, reveling in the impossibility of a planet stuck outside a black hole. That was, until the TARDIS was gone.

She could practically feel the panic rolling off of the Doctor in waves. Once they were alone, he finally spoke to her.

"I've trapped you here."

"No, don't worry about me." Rose tried to inject some false bravado into her voice, but it didn't really work.

The whole station shook.

"Okay, we're on a planet that shouldn't exist, under a black hole and no way out. Yeah, I've changed my mind. Start worrying about me." She was trying to joke, but it didn't work. The Doctor folded her into his arms, and she buried her face in his shoulder. There was something terrifying about being in this place that was almost worse than facing a Dalek. Most of all, though, she was worried about the Doctor.

"What about you?"

He pulled back, keeping his hands on her shoulders. "What?"

Rose refrained from lifting her hand to his cheek. "I'm worried about you."

"Oh, Rose, never worry about me. I'm always alright."

"Always a liar," she smiled sadly. "Come on, Doctor. Let's go see about that laundry, huh?"

According to the computer, it was night. Rose tried to fight the weariness, but all too soon she was yawning her head off.

"Go on, Rose, get some sleep," the Doctor said, looking up from the scraps of the language he was working on.

"I'm not that tired," Rose hedged. A terrific yawn caught her in the lie.

The Doctor smiled, a soft smile that Rose saw too infrequently. "Yes, you are."

"I can just sleep here," Rose offered. She pushed her stool over against the wall and leaned back against it awkwardly. "See?"

"Okay, what's wrong with you?"

Rose shrugged, twisting her fingers nervously. "I just . . . sleeping under a black hole? Not exactly something very, well, nice." How could she tell him she was a coward, and didn't want to be alone?

His gaze was calculating. "How 'bout if I bring some work to one of the bunks?"

Rose gave him a beaming smile. "That might be better."

The Doctor set up station at the small desk in the room, while Rose curled up on the bunk. Shrouded in the darkness, she managed to fall into an uneasy sleep.

The next thing she knew, the Doctor was shaking her awake, and Rose found herself trembling.

"Rose, you're having a nightmare. You're okay, come on, wake up."

"I . . . I'm awake." Rose managed to pull herself into a sitting position. She was breathing heavily, and she couldn't even remember what she was dreaming.

"You're okay. I'm here."

"I know," Rose murmured. His arm was around her, fingers rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. She leaned into him, and instead of pulling away like she thought he would, the Doctor scooted further onto the bed, pulling her down so that she was on her back while he was on his side, one of his arms over her stomach. Rose willed herself not to think about it too much.

"Want to talk about it?"

Rose sighed. "I don't remember anymore. I think it was just . . . everything."

"That's a lot to handle in one dream," the Doctor smiled.

Rose was too on edge to joke around. "Just . . . all the bad stuff. You know, like the Wire, the Cybermen, the werewolf, the Bad . . ." She quickly stopped herself. "The bad guys."

"I put you through so much," the Doctor whispered, voice laced with guilt. His lips brushed her hair.

"And I love it," she returned, shifting to look up at him. "So don't play the guilt game."

"I can't imagine you loved getting your face pulled off," he muttered sullenly.

"I loved you . . . I mean, seeing you. You know, after. Knowing that you saved everyone." Rose let out a breathy laugh. That had gotten close to dangerous territory.

"There's at least five more hours left in their designated night."

"Mmm." Rose couldn't decide if that was a hint that he wanted to get up or not.

"Go to sleep. I'll keep the nightmares away." He didn't leave her side. Rose let out a breath she didn't remember holding.

"Goodnight, Doctor."

"Goodnight, Rose."

The next day, it almost felt like a day back on the TARDIS. She got up, washed her face, and they went together to get breakfast.

Later, looking up at the black hole, Rose tried to make small talk.

"I've seen films and things, yeah. They say black holes are like gateways to another universe."

"Not that one. It just eats," the Doctor returned absently. Rose thought about asking if they could try and sail through one that did go into another universe, but that would bring up the TARDIS. She didn't want the Doctor to have to think about that.

"Long way from home," Rose commented instead. Her voice almost broke as she thought about it. The Doctor looked over at her, pulled away from his contemplation of the pit above them.

"Go that way, turn right, keep going for . . . er, about . . . er, five hundred years, and you'll reach earth."

Rose thought about smiling, but couldn't quite make it there. Even now he was trying to cheer her up. She pulled out her phone, a distraction. "No signal," she said, examining her it. "That's the first time we've gone out of range . . . Mind you, even if I could, what would I tell her? Can you . . . build another TARDIS?"

"They were grown, not built. And with my own planet gone, we're kind of stuck," the Doctor said flatly. Rose made a mental note to ask him about Gallifrey more later, but she focused on cheering him up at the moment.

"Well, it could be worse. This lot said they'd give us a lift." Rose had the sudden longing to hold the Doctor's hand. She fisted her hand instead.

"And then what?" Apparently, the Doctor would not be comforted.

"I dunno. Find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe," she offered, thinking practically.

The Doctor was finally playing along, acting appalled at having to get a house.

"You'd have to get a mortgage," Rose sang to him.

"No."

"Oh, yes," she grinned at him.

"I'm dying. That's it. I'm dying, it is all over."

She smirked. "What about me? I'd have to get one, too." Here was the leap. She took it. "I don't know, could be the same one. We could both, I dunno, share. Or not, you know. Whatever. I don't know. We'll sort something out." Rose backed out as soon as she could. Coward.

"Anyway," the Doctor said, too quickly for Rose's liking.

"We'll see," Rose finished.

It got serious again. "I promised Jackie I'd always take you back home."

Rose considered, looking up at the black hole. "Everyone leaves home in the end," she murmured.

"Not to end up stuck here."

Rose bared her heart to him once more. "Yeah, but stuck with you? That's not so bad."

"Yeah?" She hated the desperation in his voice.

"Yes," she said firmly.

Her phone rang, just as she was going to say more. Rose lifted it to her ear, only to hear a deep foreign voice.

"He is awake."

Panicked, Rose tossed the phone away.

"Rose?"

"Not to make things sound worse, it's just . . . I think there's something more to this station," she said, taking a deep breath. "That's the second weird thing that I've heard today."

"The first was?"

"One of the ood.

"Not the 'we will feed' deal, then?" he joked. For that she gave him a large smile.

"I've got to say, in hindsight, that was hilarious."

"So, what'd it say?" he prompted.

"It said that the, um, Beast and his armies shall rise from the pit to . . . um, war against God," she recited.

"Good memory," the Doctor smiled. She returned it, reluctantly.

"What does it all mean?"

"It means . . . we have a mystery on our hands." He stood, and she could see him as the Doctor again. He held out his hand, and she took it.

Panic. Officially, she was sick of it. The ood chanting together, some kind of hull breach . . . it was enough to take it out of a girl. Apparently it was enough to take it out of Toby as well.

"Come on," she encouraged, "up you get. Come 'n' have some protein one."

"Oh, you've gone native," she heard from behind. If she wasn't busy helping Toby, she would have started flirting with him.

As it was, she just replied sassily, "oi, don't knock it. It's nice. Protein one, with just a," she clicked her tongue, "dash of three."

Any flirting was out of the question as the girl, Scooti, was dead. Dead. Twenty years old. Her age. At least, that had to be her age by now. Rose didn't even know how old she was anymore. The slightly hysterical part of her wanted to start giggling, or maybe just scream.

Mention of the drill threw their situation back into Rose's face. The instant they talked about it, Rose knew the Doctor would go down.

"I want to go with you." Even as she said it, she could tell what his response would be.

"I've gotten you into enough danger this trip. It'll be safer for you to stay up here." The Doctor looked at her solemnly, and something in his eyes told her not to argue.

She helped him pull on the space suit, willing her fingers not to fumble with their trembling.

"I want that spacesuit back in once piece, you got that?"

"Yes, sir."

In any other situation, she would have retorted that it was "ma'am", but as it was, she was fighting the urge to break down.

"It's funny, because people back home think that space travel's going to be all whizzing about and teleports and anti-gravity, but it's not, is it? It's tough," she monologued, wasting time until he went down.

"I'll see you later," he said softly.

"Not if I see you first," Rose laughed shakily. She reached forward, pulling the Doctor to her and kissing the outside of his helmet.

And he was gone. Rose held onto the communication line like it was her own life line.

While the Doctor was exploring, the ood began acting up again. She focused on his voice. As long as he was alive, she was fine.

Unfortunately, Toby was possessed by some demon. It moved into the ood, and Rose desperately wished she was with the Doctor. She was all alone.

She hated panicking. Hated fear. But it was eating her away. The possibility that there could be Satan had never occurred to her.

All she wanted was the Doctor to give her a hug, but he was down at the center of an impossible planet, while she clung to the crust.

". . . And the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon."

Satan was telling her she was going to die.

"Doctor, what does that mean?"

"Rose, don't listen."

"What does it mean?" she cried. He didn't answer her. The crew was panicking, and finally the Doctor got them back on track, but it all went wrong again as he was cut off from them.

"Child, you are so afraid."

Rose whirled, but no one else seemed to have heard the voice.

"You are all alone."

She didn't have time to panic. The ood were getting in. "Right, so we need to stop them, or get out, or both."

"I'll take both, yeah? But how?" Danny said with exasperation.

"You heard the Doctor. Why do you think that thing cut him off? 'Cuz he was making sense. He was telling you to think your way out of this. Come on. For starters, we need some lights. There's got to be some sort of power somewhere," she urged.

"Ha, child, trying to be so brave. You will fail."

Rose ignored the voice in her head. At least it wasn't possessing her like it had Toby. It would be Cassandra all over again.

She focused. Urging the crew to get their act together, encouraging them . . . she didn't have the brain of the Doctor, but what she could do was work with people.

Rose had run for her life in many ways, even hopping one time. But crawling through some kind of ventilation shafts had to be a new low. Having Mr. Jefferson dying for them made it even worse. He was so brave, in death.

"You will die in battle. It is your fate." Rose officially hated the voice in her head. Satan or no, it was getting old, not having her brain to herself.

She was desperate, and the ood were gaining. Bad Wolf was howling, but if she let it out . . . "Danny, get that thing transmitting!"

It was the last second, but it still worked.

Now all she had to do was find the Doctor.

But he had fallen.

And she would wait.

But they took her away, and Rose felt her heart breaking. The Doctor would think she left him.

"Such a coward," the voice laughed in her head. "But you will be brave, before the end."

"This doesn't make sense," she said aloud, "We escaped, but there's a thousand ways it could've killed us. It could've ripped out the air or, I don't know, burnt us, or anything. But it let us go. Why? Unless it wanted us to escape?" What if it was escaping through her? In her head?

Toby told her to shut up. Rose threw him a glance. What if he was . . . but his eyes were normal. She'd only just met the man, maybe he was rude in general.

The rocket began to shake violently, and Rose looked out the window. They were falling. So was the planet.

"I am the rage."

She whipped her head around to find Toby covered in symbols and eyes glowing red. The devil was screaming in her mind in fury.

"It's Toby! Zach, do something!" she yelled, "just do something!"

He was helpless. But she wasn't. Rose saw the bolt gun, and took her chance. A shot through the window. "Go to hell," she growled.

She threw him out. Threw the devil into the black hole.

"You will die in battle, so very soon."

The voice fell silent.

"We've still lost the gravity funnel. We can't escape the black hole." Zach said dully.

"But we've stopped him. That's what the Doctor would have done." If this was her final battle, at least she went down fighting.

Just as she'd resigned herself to death, she heard his voice. The voice she'd been waiting for far too long to hear. And everything was all right again.

Except that she would die in battle.

Rose Tyler's secret was her fate.

* * *

"The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon."

The words took his breath away. The Doctor was miles below Rose, and all he wanted to do was see her, make sure she was all right, hold her. The beast was lying. It had to be. But deep down, he knew something was coming.

"Doctor, what does that mean?"

"Rose, don't listen." He couldn't lie to her right now. He wanted to wipe away all her fears, telling her it was just a metaphor or make up some babble about how demons who possessed the ood were a common occurrence . . . but he was too terrified. Rose Tyler, dead. He had thought the prospect of getting a mortgage was the worst thing he could hear that day, but this . . .

She kept asking him what it meant, and he couldn't answer.

Finally, he was forced to put aside his own fears and try to encourage the rest of them " . . . Cos I'll tell you what I can see. Humans. Brilliant humans. Humans who travel all the way across space, flying in a tiny little rocket right into the orbit of a black hole, just for the sake of discovery. That's amazing!"

He had no words for Rose. But she would be fine. Rose was always fine.

The beast, or the devil, or whatever it was, separated them once more, taking out the coms.

Ida, not him, was the one to suggest going into the pit.

"We're running out of air with no way back. It's the only thing we can do. Even if it's the last thing we ever achieve," she said.

"I'll get back. Rose is up there," he replied. But Ida was right. He was the Doctor, and he wouldn't just sit around doing nothing. If he had to throw himself down a pit, so be it.

He was dangling, with no way of knowing how far he had to go. He would go anyway. "If they get back in touch, if you talk to Rose, tell her . . . tell her . . ." Even now he couldn't say it aloud. "Oh, she knows," he whispered, and then he fell.

The Doctor woke up. He heard the rocket going off, from so many miles above, and felt both despair and relief. Rose would be leaving. She would be safe. The illogical part of him was upset that she would leave him. He pushed the feelings aside.

He talked to the devil. Destroyed the gravity field. Found the TARDIS. All in a day's work.

And he saw Rose Tyler again. He hugged her for all he was worth.

"Zach? We'll be off, now. Have a good trip home. And the next time you get curious about something . . . oh, what's the point. You'll just go blundering in. The human race." He grinned at Rose, who returned it.

"But Doctor, what did you find down there? That creature, what was it?" Ida insisted.

"I don't know. Never did decipher that writing. But that's good, Day I know everything? Might as well stop," he lied.

"What do you think it was, really?" Rose asked.

"I think we beat it. That's good enough for me," he said firmly.

"It said I was going to die in battle," she whispered.

"Then it lied," the Doctor said solemnly. "Right, onwards, upwards. Ida? See you again, maybe."

"I hope so," she said over the coms.

"And thanks, boys!"

"Hang on though, Doctor," Ida spoke up again, "You never really said. You two, who are you?"

The Doctor grinned at Rose. "Oh, the stuff of legends." And they took off, the Doctor and Rose in the TARDIS. Just as it should be.

"I didn't leave you," Rose blurted out behind him. The Doctor didn't turn.

"What, you mean on the rocket?"

"They knocked me out and carried me on. I didn't . . . I wouldn't leave you, all alone."

He couldn't tell her how much it meant to her hear say that. The Doctor turned, a smile on his face. "Rose Tyler. Faithful in the face of the devil."

"So it was the devil," she murmured. The Doctor cursed his slip of tongue.

"Oh, not really." He could tell she wasn't buying it.

"So what did you do?" Rose asked, changing the subject.

"Hmm?" He set the controls to drift in the Vortex and again turned to his companion.

"The gravity field went down at the right moment, so I could . . . well, I . . ." Rose paused, and seemed rather sickened. "I killed Toby."

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"He was possessed, and I threw him out of the rocket. I killed someone." She slumped down on the seat behind her.

"You had to, Rose, don't worry about it. I knew you would save us."

"Me?"

"I knew you wouldn't let it free. That's why I broke the gravity field." He sat down next to her.

"It was in my head."

He nodded. "It was pretty brilliant, for a chained demon, but all it did was predict . . ."

"No, Doctor, it was in my head. I heard it talking."

Alarmed, the Doctor turned to Rose. "You mean . . ."

"Yup. Up here." She pointed to her head. "To be honest, I'm really sick of my brain having so many visitors."

"Oh, Rose, I'm sorry. Look, I think I can help." He advanced until he was standing in front of her.

"How so?" She looked somewhat alarmed.

"I'll help you set up barriers."

"You mean you'll go into my head."

"I won't go prying. Promise." He paused. Now he could ask a dangerous question. "Do you trust me?"

"With everything," she murmured. He raised his hands to her temples.

The temptation to completely immerse himself in her subconsciousness was overwhelming. He could feel her nervousness through the connection and soothed her, brushing her mind with his own.

Physically, she shivered, and the Doctor moved closer, their foreheads nearly touching.

He explored, slowly, enjoying how young and naive her thoughts were. He could sense where Cassandra had left some remnants, and he smoothed them out as if they were wrinkles.

"Doctor," Rose murmured.

"Yes?"

Her hands reached up to cover his own. "I can . . . feel you."

Rose's mind reached out to gently touch his own consciousness. She waited, and the Doctor told her through the link that she could enter. Unlike Reinette, she asked permission, and he loved her for it.

The Doctor found the memories of Krop Tor and delved in, tasting the fear and panic that Rose had gone through.

He left barriers behind, helping her establish them herself, though she wouldn't know that.

"You thought I left you."

The Doctor had forgotten she was in his mind as well. "I was just being selfish. Didn't want to be left on a planet all alone," he murmured aloud. He reached further into Rose's mind, and found something shielded from him.

"Rose, what is this?"

"What is what?"

"It could be left from Cassandra, but I can't get in. Try and open it."

He felt Rose withdraw from his own mind and concentrate on her own. "I . . . can't," she whispered, but he heard what she actually meant to say in her mind._"I won't."_

"Rose . . ."

"Satan said I would die. Can't say I'm looking forward to that."

He knew she was purposefully distracting him. "Don't worry about it, Rose. Even if it did know what it was talking about, that could be years from now. Okay?" He regretfully drew back from her mind, but didn't take away his hands. He opened his eyes to find hers filled with tears.

"I don't want you to be all alone," Rose whispered. The Doctor leaned in so that their foreheads were touching, the tips of their noses centimeters apart.

"I won't."

"But what if you are? What if I die soon, and you're all alone? Promise me you'll be all right."

The Doctor closed his eyes. "I promise," he murmured. Rose's lips brushed his own, and his eyes snapped open. She blushed violently, and pulled back.

"Sorry."

"Guh."

Finally, the bright smile he loved emerged. "Never known you to be speechless before."

"It has happened," he said defensively, one hand going back to scratch his neck, the other refusing to leave Rose's face.

"Don't leave me again, okay?" she murmured.

"Never." He leaned in and pressed a kiss on Rose's forehead, unwilling to take it further. Not while there was a storm coming.

The Doctor's secret was his lies.

* * *

**A/N:** Two of my favorite episodes. It's so much more fun to write when I really like the episode. Hopefully didn't go too overboard . . . I know it's really long.

Oh, so I figured out what to do past season 2. It's gonna become a full out AU, but I'll skip some parts of the seasons . . . it'll definitely be different from other things you've read. You'll have to wait and see. :D

Love you guys reviewing. Thanks :)


	10. Fear Her

**Fear Her**

* * *

They were practically a whirl of movement as they travelled from place to place. Rose felt like she was on a perpetual roller coaster ride, and she loved every minute of it. Despite the fun, she could tell that the Doctor was terrified of something . . . he wouldn't even sit still. She knew it had to do with the creature in the pit, but she wasn't about to bring it up.

"Where are we going tomorrow?" she murmured.

The Doctor tugged her closer, and Rose curled up next to him. The Doctor had made it a ritual now, to come sit on her bed until she fell asleep, often going telepathically into her mind to calm her fears.

She still kept Bad Wolf away from him.

"I thought we'd try something close to home. Just you wait, it will be brilliant."

"Mmm." Rose snuggled up closer, and the Doctor's fingers brushed over her temple.

"Sleep, Rose."

Somehow she was able to smell applegrass. Rose smiled as she fell asleep.

The olympics. She couldn't think of a more exciting thing to do, and what made it even better was that this was in the future. The Doctor began babbling about the olympics and cakes, and Rose put his voice into the background, concentrating on the posters.

"Doctor, You should really look at this."

Kidnapped children, and according to the Doctor it was too cold . . . just another mystery. Rose hoped they could still visit the olympics once they were done.

After talking with the local folks, they began sniffing around. Literally.

"Can you smell it? What does it remind you of?" the Doctor asked.

She sniffed. "Some sort of metal?"

They poked around some more, until finally it happened in front of them as a cat disappeared.

She heard a noise from a garage door. "Is that you, puss cat? Are you trapped?" Rose murmured. It was beginning to freak her out.

"Not going to open it, not going to open it, not going to open it . . ."

She managed to convince herself to open it, but once she did, a huge . . . thing popped out and flew into her face. The Doctor, per usual, rescued her, just before Bad Wolf was about to emerge to destroy the creature.

The Doctor did his magic, and he shrank it down to size.

"Okey dokey?"

"Yeah, cheers." Rose dusted herself off.

"It was never living. It's animated by energy. Same energy that's snatching people. That is so dinky! The go anywhere creature. Fits in your pocket, makes friends, impresses the boss, breaks the ice at parties."

They returned to the TARDIS, the Doctor doing his spiel. She suddenly remembered seeing a girl peeking through the window at them.

"The girl!"

"Of course! What girl?"

Rose said excitedly, "something about her gave me the creeps. Even her own mum looked scared of her."

"Are you deducting?" The Doctor didn't actually look that surprised, only playful and maybe a little proud, so Rose didn't get offended.

"I think I am."

"Copper's hunch?"

"Permission to follow it up, Sarge?"

She was having flashbacks to the Wire, as they entered the girl's house and began asking questions. This time though, she was planning on finding out what was going on before she split up with the Doctor.

"Can I use your loo?"

Sneaking around kept her heart rate up, that was for sure. Another thing that did was drawings in a closet.

"I'm coming."

"Doctor!" Rose yelled. It was pulling her in, she was in some sort of hypnotic trance. He pulled her out. The whole saving her was a theme . . .

She got distracted, as the Doctor put the girl Chloe into a trance and discovered the secret. That the world was going to be pulled into a picture by a little girl and a little alien. Needless to say, she was a little unsympathetic, especially as this reminded her too much of the Wire.

"Right little terrors," she said, describing kids in general as the Doctor tinkered.

"Gum."

She spat it out into his hand. Funny, how that once would have grossed her out.

"I've got cousins. Kids can't have it all their own way. That's part of being a family."

"What about trying to understand them?"

So the Doctor was taking the noble side of the argument. "Easy for you to say. You don't have kids."

"I was a dad once."

"What did you say?" She had heard him, but she had never thought . . . of course he had.

The Doctor kept talking. "I think we're there. Fear, loneliness. They're the big ones, Rose. Some of the most terrible acts ever committed have been inspired by them. We're not dealing with something that wants to conquer or destroy. There's a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive, wormhole refractors. You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold."

Rose pointed to the scanner, but he thought she wanted to hold his hand. She giggled. "No, look, I'm pointing."

"It's the pod! It's in the street."

They marched out of the TARDIS together.

"Okay, it's about two inches across. Dull grey, like a gull's egg. Very light."

Rose got in front of him, and began talking through how the pods needed heat, but then there was a crash, and the Doctor and the TARDIS were gone.

Rose really, really hated being on her own. Whenever she had gone off in the past to investigate or explore, it was always with the knowledge that the Doctor would find her if she got into trouble. But with him trapped . . .

Rose was panicking, and started to take it out on Chloe, but deep down she knew it wasn't her fault. Understanding, the Doctor had said. So instead, she searched for the pod.

Once she found it, it was a matter of breaking into Chloe's room and trying to come up with a solution.

Forever a cheesy answer, it was love. Specifically, the love the world had for the olympic torch and what it represented. Rose gave the pod her best toss.

It landed, and Rose shrieked happily, hugging the nearest person . . . which should have been the Doctor, only it wasn't. The kids came back, but the Doctor didn't. That was when she noticed that not everything was right.

Rose found the door locked, and so employed force . . . and a little bit of Bad Wolf's energy. She kicked down the door to find Chloe and her mother huddled together.

"Chloe, what makes you feel better? Tell me!"

Chloe only pushed into her mother even more. Rose turned to her.

"Please, dad, no more," Chloe cried.

"Just don't be afraid," Rose murmured, "Fight your fear, Chloe. I'll try and slow him down."

Against her better judgement, Rose approached the stairs. The growling, evil was growing closer. Bad Wolf whimpered.

Behind her, she could hear weak singing.

Rose reached the top of the stairs, and she could see the monster. It almost looked like a man, but the energy emanating off of it distorted the image, making it seem more powerful.

"Now would be a really good time for you to appear," Rose muttered to Bad Wolf.

The man-drawing growled aloud, its hand reaching out. Rose felt herself shivering, and then it was around her neck. It burned. Bad Wolf howled.

Rose fell into blackness and pain. She woke up to a splash of water in her face.

"Are you all right?" It was Chloe's mother.

"Is he gone?"

"Yes. For good."

Rose smiled. "Where's the Doctor?"

"On the telly! Holding the torch!"

Rose fought away the sinking feeling in her stomach. "He's not back yet."

"No."

"Oh."

Rose Tyler's secret was her disappointment.

* * *

The Doctor had known Rose could do it. He saw the Isolus take off as he stood at the top of the olympic stadium, and the feeling of victory overwhelmed him. All he wanted to do was give Rose a big hug . . . but she was a little far away for that.

He headed off, back to his girl. His girl? That was a dangerous line of thought. The Doctor shut his mind down until he got back to Rose.

She was smiling, and he accepted the cake she offered.

"Top banana. Mmm. I can't stress this enough. Ball bearings you can eat, masterpiece!"

He noticed something on Rose's neck. A mark, but he couldn't see it as soon as she practically jumped into his arms.

"I thought I'd lost you," Rose murmured.

He gave her his usual comforting words. "Nah. Not on a night like this. This is a night for lost things being found. Come on." He began walking off, to take her on to the olympic games.

"You know what? They keep on trying to split us up, but they never ever will," Rose said happily, her hand in his.

It sent a spike of fear, straight into both of the Doctor's hearts.

"Never say never ever," he said quietly, unable to offer her affirmation.

"Nah, we'll always be okay, you and me. Don't you reckon, Doctor?" She affectionately bumped her shoulder against his, and the Doctor squashed the urge to pull her into a desperate hug.

"There's something in the air. Something coming."

"What?"

"A storm's approaching," he muttered. At this, Rose's face fell slightly.

"To the games we go," the Doctor said cheerfully, offsetting the grim mood.

Rose seemed to buy it. The two of them spent the next couple days hitting all of the good events. The Doctor refused to mention the storm again, despite Rose's hints at it.

Her neck had been hurt in some way, but she refused to tell him. She also was deliberately vague when describing what she had done while he had been gone.

When they returned to the TARDIS, he was about to ask once more, but she caught him off-guard.

"So you've been a dad?"

He winced. "Long ago. It's not something I'd like to . . ."

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me," she murmured, turning away.

"Just give me a little time, okay?"

She offered him her true smile then. "Okay."

The Doctor worked up the nerve to ask her. "Rose, what exactly happened with the Isolus?"

"I tossed the Isolus into the torch, and then . . . well . . ."

"Yes?" The Doctor didn't start the normal flight sequence, choosing instead to take Rose's hand and rub his thumb along the back of it.

"Her . . . dad, well, the drawing of her dad, sort of . . . came to life."

"How did you defeat it?" the Doctor whispered.

Rose looked somewhat guilty. "Well, I stalled it. And then I think it was destroyed by Chloe and her mom singing, and Chloe losing her fear. I think."

"Why don't you know?" the Doctor asked.

"It kind of . . . knocked me out. Or something. Not really sure, actually."

The Doctor clenched his jaw, willing himself to stay calm. "Rose, it's getting too dangerous. Every time, we get closer to . . ."

"Hey." She lifted her hand to mimic the gesture he had earlier done to get everyone quiet. "You'd be useless without me."

He bit his lip. Her hand was still on his lips, and it trailed down to rest on his shoulders. "But I don't want you to get hurt."

Rose shrugged. "Who knows, Doctor? Maybe if I hadn't come with you, I would have been hit by a bus."

The Doctor frowned. "You don't know that. You could be having a safe, ordinary-"

"-boring, dull, life. I don't want that. You've shown me the stars, Doctor. If that thing had killed me, I would be okay with that."

The Doctor flashed her an incredulous look.

"Okay, I'd rather not be dead. But you get my point, right?" Rose pleaded. Her hand cupped his cheek.

The Doctor breathed deeply. "Rose . . ."

She pulled away. "So, it's been a while since we've seen some aliens, huh? Maybe a couple more trips across the universe somewhere, and then we can stop by earth to do some laundry."

He smiled sadly. "Sounds good." If only Rose would stay alive that long. The storm was approaching.

The Doctor's secret was his fear.

* * *

**A/N:** I know this has already been posted, but things have been really mixed up. I re-uploaded a section I forgot to upload . . . anyway, sorry for the mix-up. Merry Christmas!


	11. INTERLUDE: Connections

**INTERLUDE: Connection**

* * *

Rose sighed. Yet again, they were in a little cell, with nothing to do but whistle and try and escape fruitlessly. The Doctor was even more on edge than she was though.

"They said they'd keep us a day. That's all," she said soothingly. The Doctor continued to pace. "Why are you so nervous?"

"Air conditions here are not suitable for humans to breathe. Prolonged exposure could damage your lungs."

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Science Teacher. Relax, I'll be fine." Rose plopped herself down on the floor and began to make patterns in the dirt with her toe.

"Rose, have you noticed . . ." The Doctor's voice trailed off, and Rose looked at him expectantly. "Things have been very . . . exciting for us lately."

Rose shrugged. "They always are."

He began running his hands through his hair, and Rose was distracted, once more internally cursing how nice his hair was. She missed what he said.

"Sorry, what?"

"I-I told you there's a storm coming. So normally, there's some kind of calm before it." The Doctor looked somewhat desperate.

"So what, you're saying there isn't a storm?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. If we're lucky."

A smiled played across Rose's lips. "You and I . . . we're always lucky."

The Doctor walked over to her and squatted.

"Go on, sit." Rose patted the ground. "You worry too much, you know that?"

The Doctor sighed. "It's one of my few faults."

"I daresay one of those is also pride," Rose muttered.

"Hey!" He poked her in the side, and she giggled.

"Don't you dare start a tickle fight."

"Is that a challenge?" the Doctor smirked. Rose stuck her tongue out at him and scrambled away. He caught her foot before she could move, and began pulling off her shoe.

"Oi!" Rose gently kicked out, and the Doctor took the opportunity to somehow spring from his position to land on top of her. He tickled her mercilessly.

Finally his fingers stopped their torture, and Rose, wheezing, was able to stop laughing. "Next time I want my own cell, thank you very much," she gasped.

The Doctor grinned. "You don't mean that." His hand came up to brush hair off of her face.

Rose pretended to consider. "Ah, I suppose I don't."

Gingerly, the Doctor got off of her. "C'mon then. Escape now?"

"I remember how resonating concrete went last time. This stuff looks pretty similar."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I would've been able to finish resonating the concrete. I just needed more time."

"Sure, you did." Rose gave him a mischievous glance. "You were so terrible at dancing."

"I was not!" the Doctor said indignantly. "I am a fantastic dancer."

Rose sighed dramatically. "So you say."

"So I am." The Doctor hopped to his feet and pulled Rose up alongside him. He spun her around, and Rose giggled.

"Oh, you don't have to prove anything, Doctor."

He began swaying to silent music and Rose played along. It wasn't like she had anything else to do.

"Are you breathing okay?"

His head was beside hers, and Rose was having trouble concentrating on his words. "Um, yeah. I guess." She focused back in on herself. "Guess it hurts a bit."

He stopped moving. "I shouldn't have made you exert yourself earlier. I'm sorry."

"You say that too much," Rose said cheekily. She pulled him in for a hug. "Stop pretending you're responsible for everything."

"But I am."

At that, she drew back and lightly shoved him. "No, you're not."

His eyes looked far too sad. Rose was about to spout out some more comforting nonsense, but then she doubled over in a coughing fit.

"Try and relax as much as possible. If you could try and sleep . . ."

"Like I could sleep, here."

"I'll be here to chase the bad guys away."

She smiled at him. "You always are."

* * *

The Doctor gently brushed his fingertips across Rose's forehead, only barely delving into her mind. Thankfully her sleep was dreamless, and the Doctor was tempted to stay deep within, in the peace. There was still that hidden part though. The Doctor went in further, reveling in the tranquility but seeking out that dark corner. It refused to let him in, whatever it was.

It could be Cassandra. Or the Wire, though that was unlikely. Or the werewolf? Or, going even farther back, it could be Bad Wolf. The Doctor considered all of them. None of them were good options. Reluctantly, he pulled away.

Rose whimpered at the loss of contact. She was becoming accustomed to having him in her mind, as he was growing attached to feeling her in this way. If they ever lost each other . . .

"Hey." Rose grinned up at him. Her head was in his lap, and she reached up to tug at his tie. "Have you lost circulation in those legs of yours yet?"

He smiled down at her. "Only a little."

Rose sat up. "Why don't you get some sleep now?"

"Superior Time Lord biology. I don't need to sleep."

"But do you want to?" She gently pulled on his shoulders and scooted herself around, tugging him around to lie back between her legs, his head resting against her lower abdomen. "I'll keep watch."

The Doctor laughed, and rubbed his hands along the calf of her jeans. Rose lifted her hands to his forehead, and the Doctor gasped as she was able to enter his thoughts. He knew the connection had become too deep. Humans weren't telepathic, which meant that this was a specific type of bond.

"Huh, and I was only trying to run my hands through that pretty hair of yours," Rose said aloud. She pulled back from his mind. "So, a bond?"

The Doctor pushed back his fears. "Or maybe you're just telepathic and haven't told me."

Rose played with his hair. "Is that why you took me with you?"

"'Course not. I take the best, telepathic abilities notwithstanding."

Rose smiled. "Thanks, Doctor."

Rose passed out eventually from the bad air, and once they were released, the Doctor carried her back to the TARDIS.

"Oh, Rose. I don't want you to die."

His unconscious companion didn't respond, her breathing slow and steady with the oxygen mask the TARDIS provided.

Calm or no, there was still a storm coming.

* * *

**A/N:** There's been a big mix-up with the chapters . . . if you're confused, go back, I uploaded a new "interlude" section where I forgot it before. Sorry Anyway, Merry Christmas! In honor of the holiday, I'll upload the next part tomorrow! Unfortunately, after that it'll slow down . . . going more hardcore AU takes longer ^^


	12. Army of Ghosts & Doomsday

**Army of Ghosts & Doomsday**

* * *

Planet Earth. She was back to her old home, but Rose knew that it wasn't really her home any longer. Grinning, she grasped the Doctor's hand in her own.

"So you had fun, then?"

"That planet was beautiful," Rose gushed. "And those creatures, flying, so free . . . like us."

The Doctor seemed distracted. "Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"How long are you going to stay with me?"

"Someone's insecure," Rose joked, "I told you forever, and I meant it. Now, let's go get my laundry done."

He grinned, his goofy grin she loved so much and swung her hand back and forth. "Righty-o, Rose Tyler."

She was used to aliens invading earth-what she didn't expect was the problem to come from the inside. From humans. Ghosts were appearing, and they had to figure out how.

Rose had to admit to herself though, that it would be easier to have fun with this investigation if her mum wasn't hanging around.

"You even look like him," Jackie said.

Rose turned to her mother. "How do you mean?" Her mum gestured around at the TARDIS, and she realized her mum was referring to the Doctor. "I suppose I do, yeah," she said, a hint of pride in that. She had always wanted to be like him.

"You've changed so much." Her mum sounded sad.

"For the better," Rose said reassuringly.

"I suppose."

"Mum, I used to work in a shop."

"I've worked in shops. What's wrong with that?" her mum said defensively.

"No, I didn't mean that," Rose backtracked.

"I know what you meant. What happens when I'm gone?" Jackie asked.

"Don't talk like that," Rose said with surprise. Her mum wasn't that old, she didn't know where this was coming from.

"No, but really. When I'm dead and buried, you won't have any reason to come back home. What happens then?" Jackie asked

Rose didn't have the heart to tell her mother that her home was with the Doctor, not earth. She settled for a quick, "I don't know."

"Do you think you'll ever settle down?"

"The Doctor never will, so I can't. I'll just keep on traveling."

"And you'll keep on changing. And in forty years time, fifty, there'll be this woman, this strange woman, walking through the marketplace on some planet a billion miles from Earth. But she's not Rose Tyler. Not anymore. She's not even human."

Rose listened to her mother in silence. She wanted to deny everything her mother was saying, but it was partly true. Through it all though, she knew that she would always be Rose Tyler.

The Doctor figured out where the ghosts were coming from, and he shouted happily, "allons-y!"

He began babbling on about how he liked saying allons-y, and normally Rose would have grinned and gone along with it, maybe said it herself, because it did sound like a fun word, but she just watched him.

The Doctor finally noticed. "You're staring at me."

"My mum's still on board," she murmured.

"If we end up on Mars, I'm gonna kill you," Jackie called from the catwalk.

The Doctor's face was priceless.

They split up, yet again. Rose was surprised, as was her mum, as when the Doctor walked out into the government facility, pulling her mum along and calling her Rose. She stayed with the TARDIS, figuring that the Doctor wanted her to investigate without him.

The TARDIS rocked into motion, and Rose fell to the floor. Finally the motion settled out, and Rose peeked out for a second to see the Doctor give her a nod. It sent a warm feeling into her stomach, that he would trust her on her own.

She got the psychic paper and used it to get through security, shrugging on a lab coat for a disguise.

Rose found a room with a sphere. She couldn't tear her eyes away, and Bad Wolf growled, deep within. Images of Daleks being destroyed in showers of gold made Rose dizzy.

"Can I help you?"

Rose started at the voice next to her. "I was just . . ."

"Try not to look. It does that to everyone. What do you want?"

Rose pulled her eyes away, and began telling lies.

"Can I see your authorization?"

Ugh. "Sure," she hedged, handing him the psychic paper. It didn't work on him. Rose sighed as she sat and waited. The Doctor would figure things out.

The sphere began to shake. More images of Daleks flashed before Rose's eyes, and Bad Wolf howled.

And it opened, and Rose saw them again.

The Daleks sucked the life out of the man who worked for Torchwood.

Then they began to argue with the Cybermen who had sprung out of nowhere. They kept mentioning a Genesis Ark, but Rose couldn't figure out what it was, nor why they had kept her alive so far. Deep down she feared they would know about Bad Wolf, and try and get it to come out, and use her. But the logical part of her realized that it would be similar to the last time she had woken up a Dalek. Something about radiation from the TARDIS because she travelled with the Doctor. Her prediction was correct.

"Your handprint will open the Ark."

"Well tough, because I'm not gonna do it." Rose said strongly.

"We will kill everyone in this room."

"Fine. I'll do it. But you wanna know what happened to the Emperor?"

"The Emperor survived?" the Dalek asked.

"Til he met me. Because if these are going to be my last words, then you're going to listen. I met the Emperor, and I took the Time Vortex, and I pulled it into his head and turned him into dust. Do you get that? The god of all Daleks, and I destroyed him!" Rose laughed confidently.

"You will be exterminated."

Rose waited for the blast, but an all-too welcome voice stopped the Daleks.

"Oh now, hold on, wait a minute."

The clever banter began, but the Daleks weren't having it. "Social interaction will cease!"

After a long time talking to the Daleks, finally something came to change everything. Rose grinned as she saw Mickey, Jake, and her dad from the other universe come crashing in, firing off their guns. She dodged one blast, and then another, until one hit her in the arm.

She yelped, stumbled, and touched the Genesis Ark.

"Rose!"

"Doctor, I touched it! I touched it, and now . . ."

"It's all right, Rose, without us they'd have opened it by force. To do that, they'd have blown up the sun. You've done us a favor. Now, run!"

She smiled at that familiar word and took the Doctor's outstretched hand.

Everything was working out. Her mum now had Pete, the Doctor had a solution, and it was all grand. She hugged Mickey, hugged her fake dad, and couldn't be happier.

Until the Doctor suggested she leave him.

"I'm supposed to go," she said in disbelief.

The Doctor was scurrying around, working. He wouldn't even look at her. "Yeah."

"To another world, and then it gets sealed off," she clarified further.

"Yeah."

"Forever," Rose said bluntly, "that's not going to happen."

Her mum got into the argument, and Rose turned to her desperately. "I've had a life with you for nineteen years, but then I met the Doctor, and all the things I've seen him do for me, for you, for all of us. For the whole stupid planet and every planet out there. He does it alone, mum. But not anymore, because now he's got me." She felt pretty proud of that speech as she backed up towards the Doctor. He put something around her neck, and she just had time to turn and look at him in disbelief before she was ripped away.

"Oh no, you don't. He's not doing that to me again," she growled. She was back in her universe. She regretted not saying anything to her mum before she left, but she didn't have enough time.

"Once the breach collapses, that's it. You will never be able to see her again. Your own mother!" the Doctor protested.

Rose drew in a shuddering breath. "I made my choice a long time ago, and I'm never going to leave you." She left unsaid other words. _"I love you." "I can't live without you." "You need a hand to hold."_ Rose re-focused. "So what can I do to help?"

They were hanging on for dear life, pulled towards a Void. Bad Wolf was howling gloriously, relishing the power around her. She was grinning at the Doctor, but then everything went wrong, as the lever fell, and she reached. Her wounded arm was weak.

Bad Wolf wanted her to fall. She could feel it growling in pleasure at the power within the Void. Rose screamed. She fell.

And at the last second, her salvation and her damnation caught her, as Pete came through. Rose caught one last glimpse of the Doctor before she was ripped away, into the other universe. She would rather have died.

Rose was broken.

Rose Tyler's secret was her pain.

* * *

The Doctor listened as Rose said seriously, "I made my choice a long time ago, and I'm never going to leave you."

There were words that were unspoken between them, and if they had more time, the Doctor would have liked to tell her everything, how he felt, what he had always felt. But time was of the essence, and instead he sprang into action, just one more adventure with Dame Rose Tyler of the Powell Estate.

Only it wasn't. It was the last one. The Doctor felt his world shattering as Rose fell towards the Void.

What was left for him now? The Doctor walked up to the wall, and he could almost pretend to feel her through it. Maybe right then she was placing her hand where his was.

He returned to the TARDIS slowly and put her to drift in the Vortex. Under normal circumstances, he would have stayed for a little bit to make sure people were okay, but he was numb. He felt empty, devastated, and somehow he thought this was worse than losing Gallifrey. Because Gallifrey was gone . . . completely dead. No way to reach it. But Rose . . . she was alive, stuck on another universe, and he would never be able to get to her. Alive and alone.

Finally the apathy changed into desperation. It couldn't end like this. The Doctor returned to earth, hiding in the shadows.

Rose's name was on the list of the dead.

_ "The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon." _

He tried everything. At one point he nearly opened up the Void again. But it was impossible.

The scans picked up a tear. The tiniest of holes between the universes.

What else could he do? He fought through, connecting to the mental link he had with Rose and calling her name.

He could feel her pain through the link.

She was close enough to touch. He came through, enough so she could see him.

Both of his hearts were breaking.

Rose saw him, murmuring, "where are you?"

"Inside the TARDIS." She looked as broken as he felt. The Doctor swallowed his feelings. "There's one tiny little gap in the Universe left, just about to close, and it takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a super nova. I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye."

She was breathing deeply. "You look like a ghost."

"Hold on."  
She was actually reaching out to him. At some point he stopped breathing. She faltered. "Can I . . ."

He was forced to stop her. "I'm still just an image. No touch."

"Can't you come through properly?" she pleaded.

Once more, even at this last time, the Doctor fell back on his silly explanations to hide himself away. "The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse."

Rose said one word that cut him to the core. "So?" she laughed tearily.

He let a weak laugh slip past his lips. He composed himself. "Where are we? Where did the gap come out?" He was wasting time, stupid questions. He had to tell her . . .

"We're in Norway."

"Norway. Right." This was small talk. Small talk, and this was the last time he could speak to Rose Tyler.

"About fifty miles out of Burgen. It's called 'Dårlig Ulv Stranden'" Rose explained.  
Alarmed, the Doctor asked, "Dalek?"

"Dårlig. It's Norwegian for bad. This translates as Bad Wolf Bay." She clarified. Rose asked the terrible question. "How long have we got?"

He couldn't lie to her. "About two minutes."

* * *

Rose had come all this way, and was at a loss. "I can't think of what to say," she admitted. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, but she couldn't.

"You've still got Mister Mickey, then?" the Doctor said, and Rose knew the Doctor was avoiding the real topics as well.

"There's five of us now. Mum, Dad, Mickey and the baby," Rose said idly.

She saw a bit of panic in his eyes. "You're not . . .?"

How evil would she be to lead him on. But she couldn't do that. Not with the small amount of time left. "No. It's mum. She's three months gone. More Tylers on the way."

"And what about you? Are you . . ."

She could still joke. "Yeah, I'm back working in the shop."

She could feel the disappointment rolling off of him, even as he stuttered. "Oh, good for you."

Rose grinned. "Shut up. No, I'm not. There's still a Torchwood on this planet. It's open for business. I think I know a thing or two about aliens."

* * *

He was so proud of her. "Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth." He had to tell her. "You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead. Here you are, living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have." He was trying to be happy for her, but it wasn't working. He was dying inside.

* * *

"Am I ever going to see you again?" Rose was sobbing, trying to keep her composure, but it was failing. She had gone three months without word from the Doctor until he called her. And now she couldn't even make it through a goodbye.

* * *

All he wanted was to be able to see her again. "You can't."

* * *

"What're you going to do?" she cried. She couldn't imagine life without him as it was . . . she was a ghost on this world, no matter how nice she made Torchwood sound on this universe. Would he be all right without her?

* * *

He tried to reassure her. "Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life, last of the Time Lords." The Doctor was choking back the knowledge that it would never be the same. Without her, it was nothing.

* * *

Rose felt her head splitting open, Bad Wolf joining in her grief, as together they were tossed out into the wild, without the Doctor. And he would be alone. "On your own?" she affirmed sadly, and he only gazed at her.

* * *

The Doctor looked at her, so strong. Time was running out. He knew it, but waited for her to speak first, because he couldn't. She cried out, "I, I love you," and his greatest hope and worst fears were confirmed in one blow. He shuddered.

* * *

Rose watched him, waiting for him to disappear into nothing, and leave her. He gave her a small smile. "Quite right, too. And I suppose, if it's one last chance to say it, Rose Tyler . . ." and he was gone.

* * *

The Doctor let the tears fall. She was gone.

The Doctor's secret was his love.

* * *

Rose howled. Bad Wolf howled. He had said she couldn't, but if it took her very life, she would get him back.

Rose Tyler's secret was her decision.

* * *

**A/N:** Ahahaha . . . um, Merry Christmas? I just realized I promised to post a chapter today, and it WAS THIS CHAPTER. I'M SORRY. CHRISTMAS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY.

but i promise it isn't over. I know some of you wanted this to be a season 3 AU and beyond with Rose, but I'm afraid that is just too big for me to handle . . . so I'm doing it my own way. You'll see! It'll definitely get messier though


	13. INTERLUDE: The Hunt

**INTERLUDE: The Hunt**

* * *

She spent two years working with Torchwood. Two years full of mathematical equations, experiments, and a lot of headaches. Every day of her time with them, Rose had wished she had finished school. But finally, finally they did it.

It was faulty. She was the only one who could cross, because she was powering it with Bad Wolf, and she couldn't really aim. It hurt a lot. Also, it was a process controlled by Torchwood. They would pull her back after 48 hours, unless she sent a signal to pull her out sooner.

It took ten jumps for her to finally figure out how to find the Doctor. She called on Bad Wolf's power and used the weak link between their minds to search for him. The first time she saw him, she was in the sewers, with Daleks. He was being herded along with some other people. Before she had time to cry out, she was ripped away.

Rose landed heavily. "You said 48 hours!" she yelled furiously.

"We had a problem over here! We couldn't get your vitals, and we were worried you were dying!"

Rose growled in frustration. "How long until this thing recharges?"

"A couple hours."

"Well, you better fix whatever problem you have going on. I was so close."

"Close to what?" the assistant asked curiously.

"Uh . . . harvesting a new . . . plant." Rose stripped off the different attachments. Avoiding her real purpose per usual. It helped, having Pete as a pretend father, because with his influence, she was able to work without explaining the real design behind her project.

She spent the hours between exercising, showering, napping, and eating. She ignored the burning in her mind from Bad Wolf. It may have been killing her, but she had to get to him. She couldn't live without the Doctor.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

The next location was on some kind of posh spaceship. Rose wandered, feeling very out of place in her leather jacket and field gear. She had already gotten several strange looks, and she was scared that pretty soon they would ask for a ticket.

"Hey, watch it, girl." A waiter breezed past her, carrying drinks.

"Sorry, sorry." Rose backed up, into an angel statue.

"Information. The dance floor is that way."

She shuffled away from the strange robot. Frantically, she looked around for the Doctor. 48 hours was a long time, but it wouldn't help if she got kicked off this cruiser. Rose tried to focus Bad Wolf and force it to connect with the Doctor, but it wouldn't behave. For some reason, Bad Wolf could only find the Doctor when she was going through the Void.

"Excuse me, who are you?"

Rose groaned subconsciously. "A passenger," she said brightly, turning to smile at an official-looking man.

"Let me see your ticket," he returned.

Rose rolled her eyes. "You caught me. I'm a stowaway."

"In that case, come with me." He seized her forearm, and Rose winced.

"Okay, it's fine, it's just I'm looking for someone, bloke called the Doctor, kind of spiky hair, wears a pinstripe suit sometimes, has a blue police box?"

"Stop talking gibberish. You're in major trouble, miss."

Rose sighed. "I know, I know." As he walked her, she kept an eye out for the Doctor. This time was probably a failed attempt, but she could still try.

"Stay in here."

A cell. Rose should have been taking count of how many times she had been in one of some kind.

She settled down for a long wait. She could leave sooner, but there was the slightest chance the Doctor could get thrown down here as well.

It wasn't long before one of the angel robots came.

"What's going on?" Rose asked.

"Information. Kill."

It took off its halo and threw it at her. Rose screamed and dodged. She rolled away, grabbing her wrist as she did so. She turned the watch face, opening it and pressing the button within. It would take around twenty seconds for them to get the call.

The halo had cut through the lock on its deadly path. Rose threw herself towards it, kicking it open so that it hit the angel, making it stumble. A second later, a searing hot pain slashed through her upper right arm. The halo had come from behind. It was a boomerang halo.

Ten seconds.

The angel had its halo again.

"Information. You must die."

"Information this, creep. I must live," Rose spat, and then took off. She took two steps before Bad Wolf pulled her away.

"You're hurt!" The technicians were frantic.

"Yes."

"Did you find what you are looking for?"

"No."

"What are you looking for, anyway?"

"Something important," Rose mumbled.

Rose Tyler's secret was the Doctor.

* * *

He was wandering, like a ghost. He had never been a ghost before. The Doctor wasn't supposed to be a ghost.

Donna had been nice. Together they had saved the world from a giant spider known as the Racnoss, but she didn't want to come with him. He was too dangerous, too unpredictable.

Martha was nice too. Together they had saved a hospital, and she did want to come along.

But it wasn't enough. It was like he had a constant ache, and nothing could sate it. He took Martha to Shakespeare, to New New York. Nothing helped.

Seeing the Daleks in the real New York just brought everything back up. They had survived, when the best part of him had been ripped away. It was as if she was there, and the Daleks were killing her, every time he saw them.

For a second, while he was sneaking through the sewers, he thought he saw her, but it was just his imagination.

He saved the world from Daleks. Again. If he could just share that with Rose . . . he had to stop thinking about her.

"It just proves it, I suppose. There's someone for everyone."

Martha was talking to him, and the Doctor tried, but failed to focus on her. "Maybe," he murmured. At one point, he had hoped Rose would be his. But that was gone. The Doctor suddenly noticed the way Martha was watching him. He couldn't risk keeping her around. It wasn't fair to her.

Of course, when he tried to leave her, keep it simple, there was another mystery to solve. A man who wanted to live forever. He knew better than anyone that living forever was not worth it.

He left Martha, and he could tell she was hurt. But gone were the days when he could give comfort. That part of him left with Rose. Even so, he would have to go on, living, saving the world.

And so he did. Stopped a space cruiser aptly named the Titanic from crashing into earth, investigated Adipose. He found Donna again, and that helped.

Nothing helped completely though. Not ever. But even so, he invited Donna along.

"I can come?" she affirmed.

"Yeah. Course you can, yeah. I'd love it."

And he would love it. Of course he would. But it wouldn't be the same. It never would, and he was beginning to accept that.

The Doctor's secret was his loneliness.

* * *

**The Time Inbetween**

The Runaway Bride-Donna

Smith and Jones-Martha

The Shakespeare Code-Martha

Gridlock-Martha

Daleks in Manhattan-Martha

Evolution of the Daleks-Martha

The Lazarus Experiment-Martha

Voyage of the Damned

Partners in Crime-Donna

The Fires of Pompeii-Donna

Planet of the Ood-Donna

The Unicorn and the Wasp-Donna

The Sonataran Stratagem-Donna

The Poison Sky-Donna & Martha

Utopia-Donna & Martha

The Sound of Drums-Donna & Martha

* * *

**A/N:** All right. So. Here's the deal, to everyone who is confused. Rose is searching for the Doctor using the Dimension Cannon . . . only difference this time is that she's using Bad Wolf as well. Martha and Donna both get most of their individual episodes with the Doctor during the time she's hunting (which I won't write, because this is a Rose-centric fic) except I pulled different ones out here and there to use for Rose later on.

Make sense? Hope it does. First week of class done! :D


	14. The Last of the Time Lords

**The Last of the Time Lords**

* * *

Rose Tyler's mission became more important. Not just for her, but for the universe. Stars were disappearing. She had no idea why, or if it was only in their universe or in the other one as well. But regardless, she would do her part by investigating once she was in the other universe. She would only drag the Doctor into it as a last resort.

"All right. Go ahead. 48 hours."

"48 hours. All systems are go."

She had been distracted while in the Void. This meant she landed too late. Rose stood behind the police line, depressed. Why couldn't it just be easy?

"Listen, there is this woman that's going to come along. A tall blonde woman called Sylvia. Tell her that bin there, all right? It'll all make sense. That bin there."

Rose regarded the red-headed woman calmly. She wouldn't stay. Hopefully whatever this Sylvia needed from the bin, she would figure out on her own.

She strode away. Next time. Next time she would get it right.

It wasn't the next time. Or the time after that. Bad Wolf was directing her towards the Doctor, but she always managed to be just a little bit late, or stuck somewhere she couldn't reach him. The Doctor was traveling with the red-haired woman from before. If she had only talked to her . . . She hadn't seen any sign of their relationship being anything but platonic, but it still hurt that he could replace her so easily.

Pompeii, the ood, earth again . . . Rose lost track of what was happening, only barely stopping for food and a little sleep each time she returned to the Pete's world.

She was getting closer each time. She would make it work. She had to.

When she landed, Rose found herself in some unknown location. Bad Wolf growled, and Rose shuddered. Something was wrong.

She crept through the dim halls.

She stopped. Before her was the TARDIS, but it wasn't the TARDIS anymore. It had been . . . violated. No wonder Bad Wolf was upset. Rose went faster now. Every time she heard voices, she ducked away. Who knew where she was. It would be better if she kept out of sight until she knew what was happening.

Rose heard a kind of groan. She couldn't help but gasp when she saw him. Jack. Captain Jack Harkness. He was alive, here, and chained up.

"Jack?" she whispered.

His head snapped up. "Rose?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, it's me," she hissed. "Can I come out?"

"Don't, the guards are coming by soon. Unless . . . are you a hallucination?"

"No, no I'm not," Rose said.

"Shh, shh," Jack hissed, looking desperately at her. Rose faded back into the shadows as a guard marched past.

"Jack, what's going on? How are you here? How are you alive?"

"What do you mean? And how did you get here? The Doctor said you were trapped on a parallel world."

"What, did he think I'd stay there without a fight? I've been searching for him. Is he here?" Rose maneuvered so that she was behind Jack. He was strung up, and she began searching for a way to cut him down.

"Yeah. Listen, Rose, this is a bad time. There's another Time Lord, calls himself the Master, and he's been taking over earth, and . . ."

"Good time for me to step up, eh?" Rose murmured. She reached for one of Jack's wrists.

"Rose, no. If they find out I'm gone, that will make it worse for him," Jack said.

She drew her hand back slightly, then returned it to rest on Jack's hand. "Jack, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help right now?"

"Just don't get caught. The Master's plans are climaxing tomorrow, you should hide until then."

"All right. And you're sure you'll be okay? We could hide together," Rose suggested.

"Nah, Rosie, I'll be fine. Just stay safe. Don't want you dying before the Doctor can get a look at you."

Rose skirted around so she was facing Jack. She lifted her hand and gently placed it on his cheek. "I've missed you."

"Missed you too, sweetheart. Now quick, go."

Rose went up on tiptoes to place a kiss on Jack's cheek before she ran.

And then she waited.

She hadn't been quiet enough. Rose was violently thrown into the room. She concentrated on the carpet, as her face met it. It was a nice carpet.

Vaguely, she heard Jack yell at her to run, but it was far too late for that. Rose pushed herself to her feet, her eyes scanning the room.

The man pointing some kind of sonic screwdriver at her had to be the Master. The Time Lord.

There were two women, the red-head and someone Rose didn't recognize.

Jack was there. A cage held a small creature, and bile rose in her throat as she realized that it was the Doctor.

The Master must have done that to him. Rose began to hate the Master.

"How's it going?" Rose went for a casual approach.

The Master looked enraged. "Where did she come from?"

She clenched her fists to keep from trembling. This kind of situation, she had to appear strong. And not the fake-strong she had once demonstrated in front of the Sycorax. She strode forward, ignoring the guards. She didn't let herself look at the Doctor.

"Hi. Who might you be?" she asked cheerily.

The man was definitely about to explode with anger. "I am the Master. What are you?"

Rose scoffed, "the Master? What kind of a name is that? You probably got teased all through school, huh? S'that why you're destroying everything?"

"Tell me who you are, or you will die." He pointed something that looked like the Doctor's sonic screwdriver at her.

"Hmm. What's that?" Rose kept stalling, getting even closer to him and considering the tool.

The Master pointed it at Jack, and Rose panicked. "No!" She snatched at it, but the beam hit Jack, who instantly collapsed. Rose gaped at his body, tears springing into her eyes.

"Ah, so you know him?"

As Rose watched, Jack suddenly took a breath. "It . . . didn't kill him," she said in wonder.

"Oh, that's just him, love. He's special, he can't die. You, however . . ." the Master was prowling around her now, but Rose kept her gaze fixed on Jack. He shook his head at her as her eyes questioned him. "So you know him. Do you know the Doctor as well?"

"Doctor who?" Rose asked innocently, refocusing on the Master.

He growled, and seized her by the throat. Then he noticed the wires running from the back of her head down her shirt.

"What's this? You're not human?"

"I'm human. That just helps when I'm beating evil masters," Rose snarled. If he pulled them out, her team at Torchwood would get readings that she was unconscious, and they would bring her back.

"Does it then." He fingered them, and smirked at her. "So how do you know our good Jack, eh?"

Rose shrugged. "He tried to get me to dance with him. I declined. End of story." She chanced a glance at Jack, and saw him attempt to give her a pained smile.

"What would you do if I danced with you?" he murmured silkily. Rose looked at him in astonishment. He was trying to seduce her.

"Are you insane?"

That set something off, and Rose saw the rage in his eyes. He hit her, hard, and she was sent sprawling. There was blood in her mouth. Rose spat it out.

"That's it. Playtime's over. You tell me who you are and what you're doing, or you'll be tortured."

"Ooh, I'm so scared," Rose drawled, but inwardly she was shaking. She had become accustomed to the pain that came with jumping through the Void, but real torture . . .

The Master pointed the screwdriver at her.

She heard shouting, and then all was pain. Finally, it went away, and Rose was left trembling on the floor, unable to focus her eyes on the man above her. Bad Wolf was whimpering.

"Stop it!" she heard a woman shriek. Rose rolled her eyes to latch onto the red-head.

"Who're you?" she slurred.

"So you really aren't with the Doctor."

Rose pushed herself to her feet, swaying dangerously.

"Tell me your name."

Rose bowed her head. "Why should I?" She tried for once last act of defiance.

"If you don't, I'll kill her," he pointed at the red-head, "and then you."

Rose raised her head. "My name is Bad Wolf." She couldn't let him know who she really was.

Rose Tyler's secret was her name.

* * *

The Master appeared to be distracted. "I can't deal with you right now. I'm running out of time. Guards, hold her."

The Doctor felt like screaming. He had dreamed of Rose returning, but to have her appear now, of all times, was a nightmare.

Martha and Donna looked completely lost. The Doctor concentrated, accessing the Archangel Network.

"So, Bad Wolf. I'll get to you soon, but first . . ." The Master gestured to the guards to bring Martha and Donna forward.

"And now, kneel," he commanded the women. " Down below, the fleet is ready to launch. Two hundred thousand ships set to burn across the universe. Are we ready?"

Rose began laughing.

"Shut up!" the Master growled, and pointed his laser screwdriver at her. The Doctor and Jack cried out as she was hit with another blast and fell to the floor, writhing in pain. The Master went back to his speech.

"At zero, to mark this day, the child Martha Jones and the woman Donna Noble will die. My first blood. Any last words? No? Such a disappointment, these two. Days of old, Doctor, you had companions who could absorb the time vortex." The Doctor heard Rose snort. "These are useless. Bow your heads. And so it falls to me, as Master of all, to establish from this day, a new order of Time Lords. From this day forward . . ."

"No." Rose Tyler, beautiful and strong, stood. "That's not gonna happen."

"And what would you know about any of it?" the Master smirked, "you didn't even know who I was."

She shrugged. "Because, the Doctor always wins."

"So you have been with him. Bad Wolf. Who are you really?"

Rose smirked. "Look at those women you're planning on killing. They're smiling. Doesn't that worry you the littlest bit?"

The Doctor smiled himself. Rose didn't have any way of knowing their plan, but she believed in him.

"No." The Doctor could tell that the Master was lying. "Who are you?"

"I looked into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS looked into me," Rose said in a sing-song voice.

"You're going to lose," Donna said strongly. "I have no idea who she is, but hey, we don't even need her help. Because all this time, we've been getting ready."

Martha spoke up. "We told the world to think of one word, at one specific time."

The Doctor breathed deeply, getting ready.

"Right across the world, in word, just one thought at one moment, but with fifteen satellites," Martha declared.

"The Archangel Network," Jack whispered.

"A telepathic field binding the whole human race together, with all of them, every single person on earth, thinking the same thing at the same time. And that word is Doctor."

The countdown ended, and the Doctor felt the energy surge, as millions of people began chanting his name.

While he began to reverse and become himself again, he chanced a look at Rose. She wasn't chanting his name like the others. She was singing, her eyes closed. The unearthly tune reverberated through the air, and the Doctor could feel the power in it, even more than if she had been saying his name.

The Master was fighting it. He picked up the laser screwdriver, pointing it at the Doctor.

The Doctor hoped the power was strong enough to stop it. The beam shot out, and he prepared, but then Rose was there, the laser striking her outstretched hand.

"No!"

Jack tackled the Master, taking away the screwdriver, while the Doctor strode towards Rose.

"Doctor, take care of the Master, I'll get Rose," Jack urged.

He put aside his feelings, focusing on the Master.

"You know what I am going to say," he said sadly.

"No," the Master whimpered.

"I forgive you."

"My children," the Master suddenly hissed.

The Doctor shouted, "the paradox machine!"

And then Rose was in front of him, eyes glowing. "The TARDIS will be free."

Time began reversing. Everyone was thrown to the floor, and the Doctor could only stare helplessly at Rose as she stood, swaying slightly and singing.

But she was back. She was with him, and no matter what, he wasn't going to lose her again.

Time was right again.

"How wonderful, this victory," he heard the Master say somewhere. Rose shuddered violently, and somehow the Master was behind her. He pulled at the wires at her neck, and Rose screamed in pain.

"No!" the Doctor shrieked, but Rose didn't collapse, she only stumbled. She looked at him in panic.

"Doctor, it will pull me back. I had 48 hours, but now . . ."

"What are you talking about? Rose?"

I'll find you, I promise, I'll . . ." She disappeared.

The Master laughed cruelly. "You may have won, Doctor, but you just lost everything."

He couldn't respond. Rose had been right there. Right in front of him, and he had lost her again.

Everything fell to pieces, as the Master's wife shot the other Time Lord, for all the lies and deceit, and the Doctor couldn't save him. Just like he couldn't save Rose.

The Doctor's secret was his despair.

* * *

**A/N:** Why is this so hard to write? Ugh! I love how supportive you guys are though-thanks for the reviews! 3


	15. 42

**42**

* * *

Rose turned to her assistants. "This time, I do not plan on returning."

They looked startled. "Why?"

She smiled. "I've found what I've been looking for."

"Do we shut down the operation, or . . ."

Rose considered. "Set it up so that if necessary I can transport myself back here automatically, but have the control on my side. I know it's risky, but I should have a way to get back, just in case something goes wrong. Work with the others. Investigate the disappearing stars."

They nodded and got to work. Rose wanted to sing and dance. She had been with the Doctor, if only for that short amount of time.

"You're badly wounded," one of them noted.

"Ah. Yes." Rose raised her hand up. The skin was blistering and in some places blackened. "I'll go get that fixed up." Her ride back through had been particularly painful, since the Master had pulled out her pain inhibitors along with the life signals to her team. That didn't matter anymore. Bad Wolf was anxious, as was she.

Soon. It would be soon.

She went through the Void, the pain pulling her to pieces, but all the pieces following the Wolf's song, and she pushed through.

A wave of heat hit her as she landed. As she looked around, if she didn't know better, she would've thought she was back at Krop Tor with the devil. Corridors that were far too familiar to her. She could practically hear him.

_ "The Valiant Child who will die in battle so very soon." _

Rose began her search.

The computer was on a countdown. To what, she had no idea. The ship was strangely empty, but through the intercom she could hear shouting and commands. She just couldn't find them.

She turned, and there was a man.

"Hello?" Rose ventured. The man did not reply, and she began to back away.

"Burn with me," he growled, and Rose took off running. She could hear his heavy thudding footsteps as she sprinted her way through the different passageways. Desperate, she wrenched open a doorway and pulled herself inside.

Too late, Rose saw a button for the airlock. If the man saw her, he could probably eject her into . . . was it space? Cautiously, she approached the small window that looked out. What she saw dazzled her. It was a sun. It was so close. Once more, it felt like Krop Tor, only with a sun instead of a black hole. Rose just hoped that it was a sign that she would find the Doctor, in the end. She stumbled back into the main ship, and the man was nowhere to be seen.

Something stirred in her eyes. The sun. Bad Wolf was growling, on the defensive.

Rose shuddered. She was in too deep.

"What? Who are you?" A figure stood before her.

Rose was squinting, and she didn't know why. "I'm looking for . . . the Doctor."

"He's just-"

"Rah!" A spike of pain started from her eyes and travelled deep within. Bad Wolf was fighting now. "I . . . I need the Doctor."

She could vaguely hear the shouting of some crew member. Rose began measuring her breaths, focusing on the movement of air instead of trying to look, to see what was going on.

"Rose."

She almost opened her eyes. "Doctor?" she questioned the air. Her hands reached out, and eventually found his face. She hesitatingly brushed the familiar lines, and managed to smile through the pain. "I found you."

"Rose, you're here. Look at me, what's wrong?"

Rose shook her head violently. "It's the . . . it burns. Doctor, it burns, make it stop."

"I will, Rose, just concentrate, remember the barriers? Try and use them, and . . ."

"It burns," she whimpered. Bad Wolf was fighting, but losing. There was no moon to make her stronger.

"Come on. Med bay, quick. You two, try and stop the others from destroying more."

The Doctor picked her up, and Rose clung to him, trying to focus on him. "It's angry, Doctor."

"Rose, what made this happen?"

"I . . . I looked at the sun. Like the TARDIS. I looked into the sun, and it looked into me."

"Why does this always happen to you, Rose?"

A particularly sharp pain stopped Rose from answering, a pitiful whimper escaping instead.

"I'm not going to lose you again, Rose."

"Why do you keep saying my name?" she asked dazedly.

"Because I haven't been able to say it enough," the Doctor panted. Rose felt herself being placed on some kind of cushioned surface. "Rose, it's going to get really cold. It should slow the sun from burning you up and taking over. Keep fighting it."

She didn't have any time to prepare herself before an intense cold swept through her limbs. The sun retreated, and Bad Wolf snarled, growing in strength. Rose herself began shaking uncontrollably.

"Rose, I've got to go stop this, just don't move."

Rose panicked. "No, Doctor, don't leave me, I don't want to be alone anymore."

"I promise, Rose, I'll be back."

He was gone.

Rose felt it taking over. She stood, and her eyes opened. Everything was so bright. Without thinking, she moved over to the com system.

"It's too late, Doctor. Burn with me."

His voice came back, faint. "No! Rose, I'm almost there, just hold on! Don't let it win!"

"Burn with me," she hissed.

There was no response. And then, miraculously, it was gone. Rose felt herself collapse, but despite it, she felt happy, for the first time in far too long.

Rose Tyler's secret was her happiness.

* * *

The Doctor had waited on earth for two weeks after the Master's death for any sign of Rose. He would have waited for years, but he received a distress call and couldn't ignore it. The Doctor made sure to leave a message with Jack, just in case she returned.

Time limit of 42 minutes, imminent disaster. People acting possessed and destroying the ship. It was the usual.

Even as he worked to get the ship away from the sun, the Doctor's thoughts kept running back to Rose. How she found him. He knew now that Bad Wolf had some power in Rose, but beyond that he was lost. The Doctor just hoped that she wasn't.

One of the crew members called out over the coms.

"Doctor, we've got someone here looking for you. There's something wrong with her, she's not making any sense."

The Doctor's hearts were in his throat. Not here. Not now. He ran.

There she was, eyes tightly shut, face crumpled in pain.

"Rose," he murmured aloud, hardly daring to believe she was there.

She responded to him, seeming relieved that he was there. How many times had she gotten into danger and he hadn't been there for her?

Whatever was possessing the others was also taking her. She kept saying that it burned.

There was no other way. The Doctor picked Rose up bodily, sprinting through the corridors. He would save her. He always saved her-except for when he didn't. Like at Canary Wharf.

"It's angry, Doctor," Rose whimpered in his arms.

"Rose, what made this happen?" he asked her desperately. He had a slight suspicion, but he had to be sure. He kept talking to her, saying her name, trying to keep her anchored.

Rose explained how she had looked at the sun. And of course, it had looked back. It had gone within, just as the TARDIS had, so long ago.

Why did it always have to be her?

He slowed down the process, froze her to keep her safe.

But she would never be safe. Not with him.

He gave the sun its life back, and hoped it would allow Rose to keep her life. He returned to her as fast as possible, ignoring the relieved crew members.

She was prone, limp on the floor.

"Rose," he whispered, the feel of her name so right it scared him. He gently turned her over, and she blinked up at him owlishly.

"That wasn't fun," she mumbled.

"Let's get out of here." He helped her to her feet.

The Doctor concentrated on one thing: he had Rose Tyler. Rose Tyler was with him, in the TARDIS.

"Hey you." Rose spun him around after he had flown them out of there. Before the Doctor was able to realize what was happening, she was thoroughly kissing him.

"Whoa," he stuttered when she pulled away.

Rose stuck her tongue out at him. "Don't say you didn't like it."

"Rose Tyler, that is the last thing in the universe I would say," he rasped. Rose's smile was wide enough to make the Doctor pretend the time without her had never happened. He pulled her in tightly, breathing in slow and deep, nuzzling her neck. "I missed you so much," he murmured.

"Me too," Rose sighed in his arms.

They stood like that for a long time. The Doctor felt that he could stand like that forever. Finally, he gently pulled back.

"We should go to the med room. The sun . . . your head . . ."

Rose waved a hand dismissively. "Bad Wolf protected me."

"Bad Wolf," the Doctor whispered. Rose looked guilty.

"I think we have a lot to talk about," she said unnecessarily.

The Doctor nodded. A panic clutched at him. "Rose, last time, you said something about 48 hours, are you going to . . ."

"No, Doctor. I'm here. With you." She smiled shyly at him. "Forever, if you still want me."

He smiled widely. "Brilliant."

The Doctor's secret was his hope.

* * *

**A/N:** Whew. Glad I got through that one. I've gotta say, though (spoilers for next one) that the Next Doctor? Really hard to write. And the episode doesn't make sense . . . bleh. I might just take it out. We'll see. Thanks for the reviews, guys! It keeps me going (though I know not fast enough. As always, forgive me for that).


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